Hi All.For the last 5 years ,I have been searching for my sexual identity.

Born a Genetic Male I no longer feel male much any more.A successful business person for 30 years,looked up to in the automotive community,it is difficult to really be what you feel.I think that we all have a little male and female to some extent.But as I was entering my 50s,I felt my sexual male identity slipping away.As you all know,for being an only child of alcholics.

It has always been a struggle.As long as I could look ,act ,and perform as male,that was fine.Deep in my heart,always feeling I needed to prove something.Now with M.S. to battle not being sexually the way I was ,I felt lacking.Then all my friends are popping up with prostate problems,something else again.After much study,I decided to go on Girljuice.As my body began to change my outlook on the sexual me also did.Knowing full well that I couldn't go anywhere that would understand I figured I'd have to work this out by myself.Tg: well can't really go all the way but castration could be good.In my mind I think I'm female but there's still male in there.I now think I'm chemically castrated but can't go on taking all these pills.I now must be castrated and move forword.I'm not homosexual if anything lesbien.I love women and would like to express my self as a women.That's where EA comes in.Here ,I have been able to express myself the way I really feel and thank you all for that.Now I'm ready for a gender sensitive shrink.Then I can finish my transition to asexual leaning woman.There is a big ,long path I've woven to go totally female but I'll try to do my best.I'm 58 and for me it's a little late for full transition.Physically I'm doing well,have full head of hair and mild features ,which go's well with all of this.So at this time,I would like to thank everyone and membership for letting me be a part of EA.When I'm happy with how I look ,I'll get a nice avatar going.Maybe this little story will help somebody else and they will see some of thereself in this.

Hugs,Leona Lee

Yes Leona Lee to be oneselfe is what we all are looking for to be happy for the person inside us.As my wife and i say i had to do somthing extreme to feel normal .

I am so happy you and your wife have found this you know many never do and i to would like to thank the EA for all it hase done for me and so many others here your friend Sag111

Hi Folk's! I have read that there are some older TG girls in the UK that had Castration first for an easier impact on the bod,liver /kidneys and such.After that, they were so contented that they did not have srs.This reminds me of Renee Richards story.She was older and regretted having srs.Anyone care to discuss this?Hugs,Leona

Wow, only 5 years? Glad to hear you are doing well, both in your vocation, and in your sexual identity. I cannot speak from experience, but people here seem to agree that chemical castration (that is, just enough not to have feminization) feels much the same as physical castration. Correct me if I'm wrong of course.

Many of the Girls are of the opinion that it is between your ears not your legs. I am comfortable being feminine.But I have recently learned,most people don't understand,want to understand and or just dismiss the whole issue.Because of that, we are looked upon has crazy,Unnatural,freaks and any other unholy name you can come up with.You can share your innermost feeling's here and not deal with [normal people] looking down on you.

The truth is ,they probably have thought the same things but also have to keep this to themselves.We care! Hugs,Leona

Leona Lee (imported) wrote: Sun Aug 22, 2004 10:34 am Hi All.For the last 5 years ,I have been searching for my sexual identity. Born a Genetic Male I no longer feel male much any more. ... But as I was entering my 50s,I felt my sexual male identity slipping away. ... Now with M.S. to battle not being sexually the way I was ,I felt lacking. ... After much study,I decided to go on Girljuice. ... well can't really go all the way but castration could be good. In my mind I think I'm female but there's still male in there. ... I love women and would like to express my self as a women. ... Now I'm ready for a gender sensitive shrink. ... There is a big ,long path I've woven to go totally female but I'll try to do my best. I'm 58 and for me it's a little late for full transition. ... Maybe this little story will help somebody else and they will see some of thereself in this.

Hugs,Leona Lee

Dear Leona Lee,

I can understand your feelings with respect to your sexuality and wish you the best in your search. It is difficult to be trapped in that position.

I have had similar feelings since I was about 8 and am now almost 61. I am happily married and trapped without any opportunity to really experience my feminine feelings as my wife would not be understanding.

At this point in my life, the most that I can hope for is total nullification if there is some way that my doctor would say that it is medically necessary. Maybe then I could find some ways to experience my feminine feelings with her.

Thank's Mac for your support and understanding.It seems we are on a slippery slope,and must support each other in tough times.Hugs,Leona

Eeks! The "slippery slope." I hear that from women who have transitioned--sometimes, when people get serious about transition, there is a snowballing effect, and the next thing you know, you are living full-time, have paperwork completed, and are scheduling SRS.

I hope that everything works out the best. I do understand your predicament, and the hard choices. This is not an easy situation.

Hugs and love,

Kelly

Mac (imported) wrote: Thu Oct 07, 2004 11:09 am I have had similar feelings since I was about 8 and am now almost 61.

Hugs! I know how you feel. And that it seems difficult in finding a doctor who will allow what you need--and that your family may not agree. We live with this need for so long. Have you decided on a possible course for getting as far as you can?

With love,

Kelly

Kelly_2 (imported) wrote: Wed Oct 13, 2004 3:36 pm Eeks! The "slippery slope." I hear that from women who have transitioned--sometimes, when people get serious about transition, there is a snowballing effect, and the next thing you know, you are living full-time, have paperwork completed, and are scheduling SRS.

I hope that everything works out the best. I do understand your predicament, and the hard choices. This is not an easy situation.

Hugs and love,

Kelly

Hi Kelly! You are an inspiration to us all.I really don't know how far I'm going.There's just too many people in my life and I must consider that.We do need a word or hug once in a while.And there are lots of understanding folk's here.We must try to continue to support each other because our people that are close bail on this one.

Thank's Honey,Leona P.S.;Ya know ,I guess that why

they call it Gender Disphoria.I have an appt. with a gender sensitive shrink Nov.11,2004 . Maybe we can sort things out,I expect she won't try to talk me out of anything. Only help me to put my disphoria in perspective of which I seem to be having a problem.Hugs,Leona