I've seen several posts that mention depression is a side effect of castration. I've had chronic depression and anxiety my entire life, and especially the past 7 years or so, I feel my sexual frustration for which I am now considering castration has been a contributing source. I have heard several castrates who tell me they felt better afterward, but I don't know if any of them were chronically depressed before.

Also, can anyone recommend a psych very understanding, understanding and open about lifestyles in the Pacific Northwest (including my desire to be a eunuch, but not limited ot just that) who might be able to talk to me about my full options and what might be best for me. Sadly I have no money and medical insurance, so I will have to get lucky in my job search before I can get the professional guidance that I need.

Thanks in advance (really loving this community),

Chibiabos

I feel sad for you but I know there is some help out there. If you can see your Dr (do you call them MDs?) and explain about your depressions - I guess they may even know already - then they will prescribe you anti-depressants

which of course you take only at the prescribed rate. By their nature (sadly to many men - not so to you these drugs lead to loss of libido.

Isn't there a Community Access Point or Information Guide that might help you with a positive Counsellor? I wish you some peace my friend and happiness, I notice of your interest in asexuality and I think that is a very nice place - try out this website www.asexuality.org.

I would defintely agree talk to your GP first and mention your financial situation to him. You might be able to receive State or county assistant to pay for doctor visits and medication or at least get them at greatly lowered rates. Plans varry froms state to state and depending on your income.

You might have to try a few shrinks before you find the right one, I went through 5 sheinks and 2 counselors before landing with ones that I'm happy with. FYI hospital assigned ones usually suck from my experiance.

The key thing is trust and finding ones that listen

I don't even have a GP. :/ I'm working again so I won't qualify for any state benefits but I also don't get any from my employer, as I work through a temp agency.

OK, well double check anyways every state is different and usually it is based off of income not on being out of work but how much money you make. Check with your County health department for information as they may be able to provide you with more information.

Dear Chibiabos.

Depression is an evil and wicked disease that I have been plagued by all my life. I fully understand your interest in castration, but I very much doubt that such an extreme undertaking would help you at all.

Unfortunately, we, the mentally ill, are yet to be given the recognition and social support that we deserve. Once, someone asked me what it was like to suffer the anxiety and despair that you mentioned in your first post. As I said to that person: "It's hell."

Sadly, I can do very little to help you because I live in England and our entire social/welfare system is very different to that of the USA. However, the advice as to finding a good therapist that you have been given by previous posters is absolutely right. You must find someone who is qualified to help, who you feel you can trust, and with whom you can discuss these problems.

From my own experience, all I can say is this: depression is a nasty illness, and you are suffering froim a nasty illness. However, it is just that: an illness. I know it is sometimes impossible to see hope, but try to hold onto some kind of hope, and when that fails (which it will) remind yourself that you are ill. When I was diagnosed as being a bi-polar manic depressive with retrogressive actions, it was the most liberating moment of my life. For the first time, someone told me why I was so unhappy.

Most mental illnesses are the result of bad-wiring in our brains. This can be caused by all sorts of reasons - children from Romanina orphanages, for example, are socially inept simply because they were never cuddled as babies, and their brains didn't hot-wire correctly because of the lack of a mother. Okay, we are not Romanian orphans, but I hope you take my point. Also, remember that being depressed is not a stigma. Nor should it be. Depression is because the chemicals in your brain are not working properly - and this affliction is no better or worse than dyslexia (I know, I am very mildly dyslexic - which is why I have to edit every post I make at least ten times). Oh, and also remember that depressives are usually geniuses!

I wish I could help more. All I can say, and this probably won't help much, is that you are not alone. There are millions of people out there, all just like you and me. And, as I have said on this subject elsewhere on this site, always remember: YOU ARE NOT ALONE. My depression is part of me, it is me, and I live with it throughout every second of every minute of every hour in every day. It is a tough, and unforgiving companion, but I keep going because I don't know what else to do.

Drug-therapy may help, but make sure you find a psychopharmacolagist. Don't just take what some medic thrusts into your palms.

I have had over six different anti-depressants prescribed for me by people who claimed they knew what they were doing. Most of these made me psychotic (not in a nasty way, I hasten to add). Eventually, I was treated by a proper expert and I got better.

There are a few natural remedies on the market, but I really think you need a proper assessment first. And forget about castration. It won't help you any. You need a counsellor first and formost. You need to put your thoughts out into the open. Surely there are some voluntary organisations where you are that may help. Once the anxiety and depression are under control, then you can think about the reduction of testosterone in your body. That is for another day. Today is the first day on which you start getting better.

And you will get better. Depression can never be defeated, but it can be controlled. Believe me. Been there, done it. Still doing it.

Regards and good luck,

Nicky

Chibiabos (imported) wrote: Fri Jul 30, 2004 2:40 pm I've seen several posts that mention depression is a side effect of castration.

Chibiabos

Indeed, and if you read our FAQ, you will note that The Group Mind of EA regards Depression as the #1 concern of castrates.

In my case, post-surgical depression lead to chronic depression, helped along by life events unrelated to my castration. I am now on Effexor, and went through a period of therapy.

My own OPINION...and that is all it is...would be that you would be much better off to do something about the depression BEFORE being castrated. This may include (but not be limited to) ongoing sessions with some sort of therapist and/or a prescribed antidepressant.

Yes, this will cost money. But it will be money well spent. Trust us.

Dear Chibiabos (cc Andrew)

I absolutely 100% agree with what Andrew has just said. Sort out the depression first, then worry about body-modification issues. One tip I can give you, which will probably seem even more horrifying than castration, is to try some exercise. There should be plenty of places at which you can work-out without having to pay a huge fee. And when I say exercise, I mean getting up a sweat, not merely taking the dog for a walk (though the latter is better than nothing).

Exercise helps our "feel-good" chemicals to get to work in our bodies. This makes us feel happier. Also, and this might/might not be important to you, it can help us get a better self-image regarding our own bodies, and that makes us feel better about ourselves and can help diminish the acuteness of depression. I, for example, am more happy with my physical reality now than I was when I was unfit. Obviously, Andrew can speak much more authoratively about the actuality and aftermath of castration than I can, but to undergo castration because you are depressed is a bit like cutting off your head because you have a tooth-ache. Fix the tooth, and you may decide to keep your head. Similarly, treat the depression first.

Also, and Andrew is spot on here, you really do need to be talking your problems out with a professional councellor. Sure, there are many very nice people who access this site, and they will do all they can to offer you all their support, but you need someone who is professionally trained. Cognative psychotherapy will help you learn to understand your psychology and cope with it. Suitable drug therapy (effexor, which Andrew mentions, is regarded as THE best thing since the proverbial sliced bread) may help. I was given one drug after another: seroxat, Luxor, something beginning with c (which made me go completely bananas - but in a nice way), a tri-cyclic, before finally I got the right shrink and he prescribed Mirtazapine. This was the wonder drug for me in that it stopped the terrible mood-swings, calmed me down, gave me back the ability to sleep and, most important for me, stopped my brain going at sixty-thousand miles per second. The drawback was that it made me put on a lot of weight (but then I started going to the gym). After that, I was put on effexor, but I had to stop taking it when I ended up in hospital with something as unromantic as a blocked bowel (bloody painful, though). I had to stop taking the effexor because it can make one somewhat constipated - which you don't want when you are, quite literally, full of shit because your bowel is blocked. BUT, I also benefitted from the sessions with my councellor (over three years). This helped me understand the way my mind works, and gave me back my "self".

I know money is a worry for you, and I do understand that you do not feel in a position to fund the treatment that I sincerely believe you really do need (though, remember, this is my OPINION, and only that). I have to pay 90 British pounds an hour for the services of my therapist (I think that is somewhere around 160 US dollars). Yes, it's a helluva lot of money, but it is worth every penny/cent. I no longer suffer the excruciating torture of the misery that once so dominated my life. Surely, there must be mental-health organizations where you are that can help? You may even be able to do a deal with a therapist for reduced fees or buy-now-pay-later.

Once again, be ruled by Andrew. Depression has come close to killing me. Don't let it come close to killing you. The best thing you can possibly do (and the best present you will ever give yourself - and you deserve a present) is to get help, and get it NOW (again, in my opinion). Fuck the money. Worry about that when you're well enough to worry without going bonkers. And remember, YOU ARE WORTH IT. Give yourself a break and seek help.

To all readers: I am seriously thinking of setting up a kind of mental-health/depression web-page to which people can come to discuss their problems, share with others and so on. I might even be able to get a couple of professionals involved, though I would make this a support-group, not an on-line therapy clinic. Does anyone think this is a good idea? I see it as a sort of Depressives Anonymous. Or are there loads of such sites already out there?

Oh, and Chibiabos, remember that I am writing to tell you what I think I would do if I were you. My comments in this letter (and the one above) are suggestions, some of which I hope will help you. But my words are not gospel, and you must make up your own mind how best to help yourself. As Andrew says: these are my opinions, and that's all they are.

Yes, I still have attacks of depression. Apparently they are what are known as "reactive". This means that I go down after stress, not during it. When this happens, I sometimes go what I can only describe as "space-buffy". But the medication I take (it is an anti-depressant, not an anti-psychotic) generally keeps me okay. These days, I only go space-buffy when I run out of my pills - they cost around 30 bucks per month - that's a dollar a day and a small price to pay. In order to keep myself healthy, I avoid stress, I try to relax, I try to exercise (not as often as I should) and I try to be kind to myself. Many depressives are exceptionally harsh on themselves and set up goals that they can never fulfill (but that's for a different post than here). One of the first steps you can take on the path to recovery is to accept that you are ill and be nice to yourself. Remember, depression is an illness. So is flu. You don't crucify yourself for getting the flu. So don't crucify yourself for getting depression. And: when you have a tooth-ache, you go to a dentist. You don't cut off your head to spite your tooth. You can always cut your head off later, once the tooth is fixed, if you still feel that's for you. (Oh, and please don't everybody start writing in about how expensive dentists are in the US. All I meant this to be was an analogy. They're bloody expensive on this side of the pond, too. Believe me, I know).

Look after yourselves, everyone. That's an order. Good mental health is a state of mind.

Luv to all,

Nicky