I'm half Scots, so I can post this

[Andrew (imported)]

A Scotsman finally makes his fortune and is having his dream house bulit. As he talks to the architect on how he wants the house built he says, 'See that tree there, don't cut it down because under that tree I made love for the first time.'

The architect says he understands the sentimental value of the tree and he will design the house so that the tree isn't harmed.

Then the man says, 'And you see that tree over there, I don't want it cut either, because her mother stood there and watched as we made love.'

The architect could hardly believe his ears,'That's incredible, what did her mother say?'

To which the Scotsman replies,'Baaaaaa.'

:p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p

[Karisma (imported)]

LOL................. gotta save it

[MacTheWolf (imported)]

Andrew

I am probably 75% Scot and you may be right about the sheepish nature of the Scots. However, I seem to recall we Scots learned the practice from the Normans.

MacTheWolf

[Tomas (imported)]

Heheheheh...

Thanks, Andrew.

And of course we all know why Scotsmen wear kilts - sheep can hear zippers from a great distance...

[Andrew (imported)]

Once, in my wild youth, I was arrested and thrown in jail in a small

Scottish town. (Just why is neither here nor there). The sheriff's

pretty (and rather wild) daughter was in charge of cooking and serving

the inmates' dinners.

Another prisoner, an old fellow who'd gotten himself arrested for

public drunkenness in order to get a warm place to sleep and three

squares a day (his description) told me that if I wanted to get out

early, I should hit on the daughter. "She'll go for a good looking

young feller like you - she won't give me the time of day though!"

I was concerned that the sheriff might take quite a dim view of such a

maneuver, but he assured me: "Nah, old Brice doesn't want any hassles.

If he sees Julie getting too friendly with you, he knows he won't be

able to stop her from doing whatever she wants so long as you're here;

so he'll just let you go and tell you to get out of town."

I considered it but decided that it would not be appropriate to end a

sentence with a proposition.

[Riverwind (imported)]

Andrew, is it not time for you to take a long trip,

[An Onymus (imported)]

Andrew's post reminded me of the old story about a Basque sheepherder who went into a bar in northern Nevada. Someone in the bar made the comment that sheep could get gonorrhea. The sheepherder was then asked if he could detect any indcations that sheep in his flock had the disease.

"No," he replied. "I always use a condom."

I have no idea if sheep can actually get gonorrhea.

[Arab Nights (imported)]

The poor Basques are like the Newfies of Nevada, but they have great dances at their festivals.

[A-1 (imported)]

Andrew, I hear that it was MOOOOO! instead of BAAAAAA!

Ya gotta think BIG!

A-1

[colin (imported)]

A1,

A condom would not have been sufficient in that case.

Many years ago, a Norwegian Sea Captain told me from experience that you needed Wellington boots for a goat and a large piece of cardboard for a cow.

Eh?

Well, the boots are so that you can put the back legs of the goat into them and stop it running away. The cardboard is so that you don't get s**t on your balls!

So now you have it 2nd hand.

LOL