changing?!!!!

[marca (imported)]

hi all, i am a eunuch now since 4 months and i begin to feel some emotional changes , i take no hormones at this time.

the changes i feel is that i am begin to loose my interest in woman.

and that i am changing to the other side (men).

it is very confusing for me , i dont know what to do with this feelings, never had any interests in men.

is it normal that i change in that way?

What i want to know is : are their other eunuchs who had the same change in feelings as i .and what is to expect further on down the road.

i hope someone gives me some advice about it.

greetings marca

[jemagirl (imported)]

Hi Marca,

As you already know I am not a eunuch so I may not be the best person to answer your questions. However I do feel I can offer you some advice from the experience that I do have.

You should expect changes from becoming testosterone free. From all that I have read and heard from friends who are eunuchs this is normal. The changes from person to person vary in degree and type. Each person is different. There is no normal to worry about. What ever changes you are experiencing are what is rite for you. The most important thing is your health, and not weather you are starting to like men.

When I was younger and felt different I worried about it and so I did my best to be normal. I struggled with my feelings and for all the effort I only hurt my self and others. Then for a number of years I identified as GAY. It was a step forward and a step backward. On the one hand it reconciled my attraction to men but on the other hand it denied my transgender side. It was in essence a compromise position, and to maintain it I went to extraordinary lengths to just be GAY and not Bi-sexual. Again I was robbing my self of a true life.

Reality can only be held back by denial for so long before the house of cards comes tumbling down. There you find yourself sitting in what you think is the ruin of your life, but suddenly you are free. Free of all the notions of "this is who I am and this is what I am". Perhaps your experience is not as dramatic, but when you find yourself questioning long held beliefs about your self the best approach is one of acceptance and celebration. This is your opportunity to discover your true self. What others experience after becoming eunuchs is simply their experience. Your experience is every bit as valid no matter what it is. Be you.

When I finally accepted the fact that I am transgender I found out that I was attracted to women as well as men. This was quite a surprise and for a time it was an unwelcome one, but then I thought "why not?". After all am I not turning a new chapter in my life? If I am giving up the notion of being a man why would I worry about weather or not I like men? I do not have to be gay or straight. I do not have to worry about being Bi-sexual. You have embraced a new chapter in your life by becoming a eunuch so if you have some feelings you never had before its OK. You are just having the feelings that make sense for you.

Marca I think you are wonderful:

Jema

[An Onymus (imported)]

Although I have never had the experience of feeling ambivalent about gender identity, I long ago realized, that what the people around any person, expect from him or her, is not "normal," "right" or "natural." Society tries to compel people to conform to certain artificial gender identity patterns, because that conformity facilitates the exercise of control over them. But, in reality, everyone's identity is an individual matter, and your own orientation is nothing you need to be ashamed of, or struggle against. Just be yourself, and find people who will accept you as you are.

Incidentally, marca, I don't know much about your relationship with your wife, but I tend to think this is the sort of thing you shouldn't try to conceal from her. At some point, she will become aware of it anyway.

[Christina (imported)]

Hello Marca,

Your question is a valid one to me. I will try to explain my situation so that perhaps it may shed some light on what you are going through now. For well over 3 years now I have been a chemical eunuch and just recently a physical one. But I can't really call myself a eunuch because I want much more than that. I desire to be female, so I also take female hormones to get things going in the right direction.

For me, finding out who I really was, was important to me at first. I didn't bother myself with who I was attracted to. As time went on during the first year during chemical castration, I found that my atraction to women was more of an envy of them and I was able to focus more on my goals of becomming one. I had always held the notion (or dream if you will) of having an intimate relationship with a man as a woman (but I never considered myself to be gay). As it turns out, this is possible through modern medicine. Over time my desire to be with another woman has diminished some, but not very much.

Knowing now that it can be physically possible for me to be with a man, it has sparked something inside me. I don't know if it was there all along or if the female hormones helped to bring it about, but I do have a definate interest in men that I did not have several years ago. Perhaps this is the way it was meant to be for me now that the pieces of the puzzle are being put together in such a way that I am still finding my true self.

I do not think it holds true for everyone, eunuchs and transsexuals, to change their sexual orientation after surgery. I have heard of some transsexual women who, as men, did change from having an attraction to women to being attracted to men, as women. I am still searching for myself and who I am attracted too. I don't let it bother me that I am attracted to both. If someone asks me, I usually say I'm lesbian, but have on occasion said I am bisexual. Most people do think in terms of opposites attracting one another. If it makes it easier for others to understand who I am, being a bisexual makes it a better way to explain myself for now.

I still have a long way to go in my transition. My hangups with having sex is due mostly to the feeling of being in the wrong body. Castration did help relieve some of the anguish I have with those feelings. I believe they will be greatly eliminated in the future. I am looking forward to that day I can say to myself I am finally who I was meant to be.

I believe that if you give yourself more time, you will finds things will work out for you in a way you can live with. After all, you have to live with your decisions, be them right or wrong. So take the time to reflect on your life and where you think you may be going, and perhaps do a little exploring now and again in different directions to see if you can really find the right road to travel.

[marca (imported)]

Thanks already to all for your reply.

So what i learned so far is that it is different for everybody, how you change.

But the changes are for real and i dont imagine it.

I guess it is more a thing of nature then.

And that the only thing you can change a bit is your physical apperance by taking hormones.

It only takes some more time to get things clear and i have to be patient.

More reply about this subject is welcome so i can compare.

thanks