Actually Taken From Classified Ads In Newspapers:

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old. Hateful little dog. Bites

FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog

FREE PUPPIES... Part German Shepherd, part stupid dog

GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German. Free

FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG. Looks like a rat ... been out while..better be

reward.

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED... Also 1 gay bull for sale

NORDIC TRACK $300 Hardly used, call Chubby

GEORGIA PEACHES, California grown - 89 cents lb.

NICE PARACHUTE: Never opened - used once

JOINING NUDIST COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer $300

(AND THE BEST ONE)

FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica.45

volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed,got

married last month. Wife knows everything.

You didn't quite get the parachute one right--it's:

NICE PARACHUTE: Never opened, only used once, slightly stained.

We skydivers have a REALLY morbid sense of humor.

Rich (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 02, 2004 7:05 am You didn't quite get the parachute one right--it's:

NICE PARACHUTE: Never opened, only used once, slightly stained.

We skydivers have a REALLY morbid sense of humor.

Thanks! Love it!! Yes, very morbid.