Well everyone its been over 6 weeks since I started using Androcur. All I can say is this stuff is really potent and I'm totally thrilled with the results! I started about mid January with 100 mg per day taken at bedtime, which I later switched to twice a day as adviced by a fellow eunuch. I did this for 3 days and then switched to 150 mg for an additional 3 days. I wasn't happy with the way I felt on the 150 mg dose. I would wake up in the morning just feeling what I would call just plain bad. Not sick, just kind of beat and blah. The worst thing that happened at 150 mg was that my skin had a very unusual smell. It reminded me of a hospital blanket, almost medicinal and very unnerving for me. I'm very sensitive to smells and I almost went off of Androcur for this very reason. I found that when I dropped my dose down to 100 mg and took it twice a day, I not only felt better but the strange body odor I was sensing was gone as well. For the first week my sex drive was raging as usual, then I noticed that I wasn't waking up with a morning hard on anymore. My penis stayed noticably smaller than normal and the spontanious errections went away along with the sensitive fealing in my genital area. The sensitive feeling I'm talking about is the one that causes the spontanious errections, I'm sure some of you still remember this.

The next big change which became sort of a problem for a while had to do with my penis. My penis which had not experienced any kind of errections during the second week besides for when I masterbated, shrunk to the point when the glans just rested on the scrotum. Every time I leaned forward it would invert which bothered me to the point that I was digging for it descretly in public when ever I could. I remember thinking to myself how someone could easily decide to go though a penilectomy is something like this kept up. After about 2.5 weeks I became really busy with my daily routine and began working out about 3 days a week to stay in shape. My muscles firmed up and I have gained a good bit of strength since I started which I'm very happy with, I have also lost some weight and 2 inches of my waist. My energy level has increased a bit as well which has offset the effects of feeling tired from taking androcur. After about the 2.5 week mark things became a little unusual. I became pretty much lost in my work and daily activities that I didn't realize that my sex drive and the sexual thoughts had just vanished. I was still taking androcur but at the 50 mg dose broken in half and taken twice a day. It really didn't hit me until the 4th week when I got some time to self reflect on the last 4 weeks that I realized that I must be castrated since the thought of sex seemed really far off in my mind. I was expecting some profound change but in reality it was a very subtle change that took place. It was one of those blink and you'll miss it type things. I think if I was less busy and had more time to myself I could have noticed the changes better as they came along. I also noticed that I hadn't masterbated in nearly 2 weeks which was highly unusual since I could go no longer than a full day before. It really didn't hit me until I tried to masterbate in the shower during week 4. I must have spent 20+ minutes of intense concentration and stimulation only to have the hot water run out on me. I couldn't even get my penis half erect, and the second I stopped it shrunk back down again and was inverted by the time I stepped out of the shower. I have tried unsuccessfully on two other occations since then, with no success at all. Don't get me wrong, I only tried this just to see If I could still get off, since I can't, I no longer try. Getting off these days for me is something from my past. I no longer think about it and most of the time I just plain forget about it. It's amazing how the sex drive at least for me was just a behavior caused by hormones, and now that I no longer have those hormones in my body I no longer need or want sex. It's like my brain has been rewired to be Asexual.

Just after week 4, I no longer noticed the feeling of my penis inverting anymore which was a big plus. It is smaller than ever most of the time, but I've gotten used to the feeling of it turning inside out and I no longer notice it anymore. I also began to have very short and mild hot flashes throughout the day and an accasional night sweat. There really not bad at all, luckily. My face gets a little warm and if I'm not dressed right I get a little sweat near my hair line sometimes, but that's about it. The night sweats are nothing to get excited about either. A good way to deal with them is to sleep in the nude without covers. The hardest part is adjusting your household thermostat so your comfortable while you sleep.

Over all I'm very happy with the changes that have taken place inside my body since starting Androcur. I have no desire what so ever to go back to the way I was before. My only concern is the continued long term use of this drug. Hopefully after a year I can stop if my testicles atrophy by then. I'm also considering surgery at some point, but that's a bridge I'll cross when the time comes. One a humorous note, never try to pee standing up at a urinal wearing sweat pants if you've been castrated. You'll wind up peeing all over yourself if your sweatpants are not completely down around your knees. Your penis might be too small to bridge the gap, so make sure you use the stall. Don't ask me how I know this! Considering how much function I have lost in my penis so far, it might be a good idea for me to have it removed one day, for now I'm happy with it being inside out most of the time. I hope this helps others who are sitting on the bench right now trying to decide whether or not they are going to try chemical castration. It's not for everyone, but if all of this sounds good to you, what are you waiting for? That's the question I answered for myself and look where it's gotten me.

One last thing for those who are wondering. I have not experienced the eunuch calm that a few people have talked about. If it's some kind of zen like calmness then I must be missing out. What I have noticed is that I am more patient and stress bothers me less than before. Of course that doesn't mean I don't get stressed and angry, quite the contrary. Everyone needs these defence mechanisms just to make it in this world. I do feel sexually calm since I have no sex drive and I no longer think or have an interest in sex. I think this is what other eunuchs are refering to when they say the eunuch calm. One really cool aspect of being a eunuch is that you can look back at how you used to act as well as how others act and see those actions in a much clearer perspective without sexual distortions. That's probabely why eunuchs are known for giving good advice thoughout history or have been used in these positions in the past. I think to sum up the way I feel is to say that before, I was a person enslaved by sexual desires to the point that I sought out sex just to acheive a sexual release or feeling of relief. Now I have acheived a feeling of complete sexual release that never goes away. I'm so sexually satisfied that I no longer need or want sex and that makes me very happy.

Hi Mountain Air,

My experience was exactly the same.

Androcur really works and you don't think about sex after a while.

My penis was sooooo small and I loved it too.

The Eunuch calm to me was not having to think about sex, being calm and collected, no aggresive thoughts, just peace. I loved every moment of it.

As a person who has stopped for my wife, I can tell you it has altered my life even with the testosterone back.

I think anyone who is thinking castration should be required to do this first to see if they can handle it. Me, I loved it.

Lastly, you're right. It's a one day you realize, "I haven't had sex in forever (with myself or otherwise)" kind of thing. It's not something that you'll lament over or notice you're losing.

Reading your post makes me want to go back, but the lustful feelings I have say, "No.. now it's even more sensual because you know the feeling."

Best of luck!

M Air, thank you so much for the wonderful post. That was very enlightening. I guess, for me, sitting on the fence so to speak, I just want to make sure I have a chance to consider all options, except the surgical route, since I still desire to keep my bits. Nevertheless, I don't really have a sex drive and didn't for years. Though, lately, I have noticed that I almost /need/ to masturbate every single night. I didn't used to be this way. Anywho, without going in to too much detail, I like what you've posted and hope for some more updates as time progresses.

Mountain Air and Beleza, as people who have experienced chemical reduction of testosterone why not become members instead of staying simple "guests". What you have shared is great. Add your experiences to a blog, interact with others, enjoy.

nullorchis (imported) wrote: Wed Jul 22, 2009 4:18 am Mountain Air and Beleza, as people who have experienced chemical reduction of testosterone why not become members instead of staying simple "guests". What you have shared is great. Add your experiences to a blog, interact with others, enjoy.

They were once members, but stopped coming around. When someone leaves and stays away for 365 days, their account is deleted, and they revert to "Guest" so that their posts are not removed.

These were indeed some very nice posts and some good infomation and something to think about it.

It is too bad they have not come back for over a year.

It has been a long time, things sure can move on aanf forward.

It's a loss for us that these members have not come back for years. But then, I too found that as my sex drive dropped off with my combo of Androcur and Tamoxifen, my interest to check in on this archive dropped off as well.

The need to check in and connect with others in the same boat some how is taken over by other interests and other parts of our life.

I suppose to some extent, the wish to become castrated may in part be driven by testosterone?

Wonder if others have the same experience.

It was interesting to re-read these posts again. My July 21 post was just a week before I started Siterone. My progressive experiences are on my blog, and I encourage people to post their experiences on their blog as it can be difficult to find such valuable information in posts. Personal experiences are no guarantee of similar results, but they are informative and might be useful to someone else in the future. I am amazed at the results I have obtained from Siterone. You can catch up on the details on my blog, but in summary, like Tony The Tiger says: "It's GREAT ! ". Finally free of the sex demon. Wish I could set my balls free too, but I'm content with the effects of Siterone, although not looking forward to the on-going expense. But since Siterone is working, it has value, so I will continue to take it. Once I get a T count later this month I will then decide what to do next; hopefully decrease Siterone to 25mg a day and still get desired effect (and save money).