I am looking for some help and advice. I am a middle-aged person who has lived his life as a gay man, but as I get older, I realize that my deepest sexual need is to be able to function as a woman.

I have been searching the net for information but all the doctors and clinics insist that to have GRS the patient must have done hormones and lived as woman full-time for a year or more.

For many reasons, I wish to continue presenting as a man but want to be able to take a man the way a woman does. I would like to lose my penis and testicles and have them replaced with a vagina. I have vaguely heard that some men have been able to do this, but I can't find any information.

Can anyone help me?

Thanks

blivetboy

Hi,

You might find some information if you go here http://www.annelawrence.com/

Good luck,

Michael

It would be impossible to obtain this surgery from a surgeon who adheres to the Harry Benjamin Standards of Care. Some GRS surgeons, esp. many of those in Asia, are more flexible in terms of who they will provide surgery to, so if you are prepared to lie and have the money then it may be possible.

I would warn however that, post-GRS, you would have the hormonal production of a post-menopausal female and thus would need hormonal therapy (whether male or female hormone regime) with a female hormonal regime producing noticeable physical changes over time.

I am not / was not a gay male so I do not know the gay culture / sub-cultures but I would imagine that a male with female genitalia would find it more difficult to attract another gay male ????

Ulysses

Ulysses,

I really hate to appear dense, but who is Harry Benjamin?

Oh, and

Ulysses (imported) wrote: Mon Mar 08, 2004 12:22 pm I would imagine that a male with female genitalia would find it more difficult to attract another gay male ????

Do not try to think this through logically. It doesn't work that way.

It would, however, seem to, though.

But this is not a logical progression.

Is it? Otherwise, a Gay man who loves another Gay man who has a sex change becomes a heterosexual. Or, do they both become heterosexual? OR, is it that they become bisexuals This is giving me a headache...

A-1

Here is a link to information on Harry Benjamin: http://www.transhistory.org/history/TH_ ... jamin.html

A link to the HBIGDA: http://www.hbigda.org/

And for more information on the "Standards of Care": http://www.tc.umn.edu/~colem001/hbigda/hstndrd.htm

Christina (imported) wrote: Mon Mar 08, 2004 7:10 pm And for more information on the "Standards of Care": http://www.tc.umn.edu/~colem001/hbigda/hstndrd.htm

Hello, dear. The SoC has been upgraded yet again, and now has clauses for

DIY'ers who buy HRT over the Internet as well as improved abilities for children to transition:

http://www.hbigda.org/socv6.html

It is improving, little by little.

The SoC began in 1979. I started gender therapy in 1981, and the rules were so strict that it seemed that they were not there to help us but hinder us.

Now, things ae different, and TS people are being helped.

Big warm hugs,

Kelly

Ulysses (imported) wrote: Mon Mar 08, 2004 12:22 pm It would be impossible to obtain this surgery from a surgeon who adheres to the Harry Benjamin Standards of Care. Some GRS surgeons, esp. many of those in Asia, are more flexible in terms of who they will provide surgery to, so if you are prepared to lie and have the money then it may be possible.

I would warn however that, post-GRS, you would have the hormonal production of a post-menopausal female and thus would need hormonal therapy (whether male or female hormone regime) with a female hormonal regime producing noticeable physical changes over time.

I am not / was not a gay male so I do not know the gay culture / sub-cultures but I would imagine that a male with female genitalia would find it more difficult to attract another gay male ????

Ulysses

Thank you so much, Ulysses, for your very thoughtful reply. The problem you cite in your first paragraph is exactly the issue I am facing. I will probably have to go abroad if I want to obtain the results I desire. I truly need to find a reliable surgeon.

As for the problem of finding sexual partners after surgery, I have thought a great deal about this and obviously this will be a real issue for me. I am sure that many gay men will be turned off by my having female genitalia, but I am willing to take that chance. I believe some men would be at least intrigued by the idea. Think of all the "she-males" or "chicks with dicks" who have successful sex lives. I wish to be the "flip side" of these folks. What is great about sex is that somehow there is a match for just about every variation.

As for the hormonal drive, I would probably use male hormone replacement therapy. Several friends who have been castrated have found this works well for them. I do not want to develop other female characteristics. No reflection on any M-to-F transexuals. I admire them enormously but my desires to be female are strictly in the sexual act.

Again, thank you so very much for your reply.

Hugs

buzz

blivetboy (imported) wrote: Sat Mar 20, 2004 11:10 pm What is great about sex is that somehow there is a match for just about every variation.

As I like to say there is a tugue for every flavor of ice crean. So go out and find some one to lick you

Jema

blivetboy (imported) wrote: Sat Feb 14, 2004 8:33 pm I am looking for some help and advice. I am a middle-aged person who has lived his life as a gay man, but as I get older, I realize that my deepest sexual need is to be able to function as a woman.

I have been searching the net for information but all the doctors and clinics insist that to have GRS the patient must have done hormones and lived as woman full-time for a year or more.

For many reasons, I wish to continue presenting as a man but want to be able to take a man the way a woman does. I would like to lose my penis and testicles and have them replaced with a vagina. I have vaguely heard that some men have been able to do this, but I can't find any information.

Can anyone help me?

Thanks

blivetboy

Like many mens of us I would like to be nullified (castration+penectomy) and have a pretty girl'slot like in my avatar picture.

I dont want to become a woman. I want only to be a man with a girl'slot.

I want a slot but I dont want a vagina opening because I dont want intercourse like a woman. My anus is good for that. Also I dont want clitoris and inner labia. Only labia majora to have a pretty slot and a new peehole between my labia and near to my anus to pee only seated like a woman.

Now I am in contact with the Samui clinic in Thailand. This surgery is possible whithout problem. I think that my surgery will be done in june.

Our dream is possible!

blivetboy (imported) wrote: Sat Mar 20, 2004 11:10 pm Thank you so much, Ulysses, for your very thoughtful reply. The problem you cite in your first paragraph is exactly the issue I am facing. I will probably have to go abroad if I want to obtain the results I desire. I truly need to find a reliable surgeon.

As for the problem of finding sexual partners after surgery, I have thought a great deal about this and obviously this will be a real issue for me. I am sure that many gay men will be turned off by my having female genitalia, but I am willing to take that chance. I believe some men would be at least intrigued by the idea. Think of all the "she-males" or "chicks with dicks" who have successful sex lives. I wish to be the "flip side" of these folks. What is great about sex is that somehow there is a match for just about every variation.

As for the hormonal drive, I would probably use male hormone replacement therapy. Several friends who have been castrated have found this works well for them. I do not want to develop other female characteristics. No reflection on any M-to-F transexuals. I admire them enormously but my desires to be female are strictly in the sexual act.

Again, thank you so very much for your reply.

Hugs

buzz

Some of the surgeons outside of Western Europe & US can perform such surgery to a high standard and, as stated elsewhere, will take a much more flexible attitude when it comes to criteria for surgery.

Regarding your reference to the "she-male" concept and the almost parallel that you seek to transform into (i.e. someone who has female genitalia but, otherwise, looks like a biological man.) I think that the closest analogy, looks-wise, would be a FtM TS who does not have GRS (and most don't due to cost of surgery and its potentially unsatisfactory results). I have a limited knowledge of FtM TSs through the butch / femme movement and it would appear that most people attracted to such FtMs are non-straight biological women (though, again, I acknowledge that is a generalisation).

Whatever you do, take care.

In reply to some of the other comments on this thread:

- retaining sexual orientation post-GRS ......... I retained my original sexual orientation post-GRS. Prior to GRS, I was attracted to females only and that remains the case today. The only difference now is that I am probably attracted to a more diverse section of female population & less attracted to others. I never thought that, through having hormonal treatment & GRS that my sexual orientation would change.

- Standards of Care ............... agreed that the SoC are becoming more flexible. I can fully appreciate the intention of the SoC (i.e. ultimately to protect people from themselves and from burdening society). However, I do have a frustration with the inconsistent manner in which the SoC are adopted by different practitioners, though acknowledge that is always likely to happen with such a code that is not enshrined in law and is partly a matter of interpretation. The reality is that the SoC implicitly advocates a "one size fits all" approach to transsexualism / gender dysmorphia, yet we are all different and have different lives to lead.

- Logic / viewing desire for forms of TG treatment in a logical manner ........ I also agree that we shouldn't only look at these things logically for it is unlikely to make logical sense for a biological man to see to undergo GRS and / or other feminisation surgery (or, vice-versa, in case of FtM transformations). However, I believe that there is a need for the individual to fully think through the ramifications of the treatment that they potentially want to undergo i.e. the potential differences of fantasy versus reality and the fear that someone has a life-long regret through trying to fulfil a fantasy.

Just my thoughts,

Ulysses