Wannabe1,
While there have been a large number of readers of your post, no one seems to have wanted to reply. There is good reason for this reluctance. Unless you are seriously suicidal, you need far more research and reflection before you proceed with any action.
Have you read all of the posts on the Archive about the health consequences of castration? There should be a number of important questions that they raise in you. Where are your questions to the members here about the physiological and psychological consequences of castration?
There have been a number of posts on the dangers of using cutters. Sometimes they do a reasonable job; frequently they dont. Do you have the proper health insurance to cover a stay in the emergency room (including the psychiatrist(s) who will be assigned to evaluate you) should there be any problem? In most cases your insurance will NOT cover any problems because they are judged as self-inflicted. A cutter can cost you many times what a licensed surgeon would charge even after the flight to Philadelphia or Bangkok and the necessary hotel stay.
There is no evidence in your post that you know what you want, why you want it, or that you understand the consequences of such action. I would suggest that you start with a reading of the thread The Consequences of Castration (
http://www.eunuch.org/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=4616). You should then survey the various posts in the Health Forum and begin asking questions of the members here.
There certainly are men for whom castration is beneficial. There are others for whom it is disasterous. (See the various threads about suicide!) For most it falls somewhere between. You certainly need to carefully research and consider your options before taking any action.
At the very least, most members here would suggest that you need to test drive castration with some form of chemical castration for at least six months to a year before even considering surgery.
You will find the members of the Eunuch Archive to be helpful and supportive, but also demanding that you show clear evidence that you are seriously thinking through any potential action and understand the consequences.
Welcome to the Archive. We look forward to your participation in the discussions here.