For You Pizza Lovers

[Studlover (imported)]

For all you pizza lovers...

Pizza Hut Order in Today's USA

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I help you?"

Customer: "Hi, I'd like to order."

Operator: "May I have your NIDN first, sir?"

Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's

6102049998-45-54610."

Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive,

and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at

Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566.

And my machine says you are calling from your home."

Customer: "Huh? Yeah, I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"

Operator: "We're wired into the national homefront protection system, sir."

Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat

Special pizzas. "

Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."

Customer: "Whaddya mean?"

Operator: "Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got very high

blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National

Health Care provider may sue us if we provide you such an

unhealthy choice."

Customer: "Shucks. What do you recommend, then?"

Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Yogurt Pizza. I'm sure you'll

like it"

Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"

Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local

library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."

Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then.

What's the damage?"

Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids,

sir. The 'damage,' as you put it, heh, heh, comes $49.99."

Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your

credit card balance is over its limit."

Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver

gets here."

Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn."

Customer: "Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How

long will it take?"

Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes,

sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while

you're out getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle

can be a little awkward."

Customer: "How in the world do you know I'm riding a Harley?"

Operator: "It says here you were in arrears on your car payments, so your

car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid up, so I just assumed

that you'd be using it."

Customer: "@#%/$@&?#!"

Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a

July 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop."

Customer: (Speechless)

Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"

Customer: "No, nothing. Oh, yeah, don't forget the two free liters of Coke

your ad says I get with the pizzas."

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from

offering free soda to soon-to-be diabetics."

[LorenaBobbitII (imported)]

Sometimes I feel like everyone else knows more about me than I do myself. BTW, good one! Hilarious!

[Mac (imported)]

Sometimes I feel like everyone else knows more about me than I do myself. :

DAre you a real Lorena Bobbit? Have you or would you cut off a man's penis? What would you do with it to assure that it wouldn't be reattached?

[LorenaBobbitII (imported)]

Are you a real Lorena Bobbit? Have you or would you cut off a man's penis? What would you do with it to assure that it wouldn't be reattached?

No, I'm not a real one. I've never cut off a man's penis for real. I would do it, but only if they wanted it done and their wife/girlfriend didn't mind. With permission, if they didn't want it reattached I would dispose of it somehow. BTW, it is a fantasy I have alot, especially about guys that piss me off.

[Mac (imported)]

No, I'm not a real one. I've never cut off a man's penis for real. ... BTW, it is a fantasy I have alot, especially about guys that piss me off.

What do you find exciting about a nullo guy?