Three dogs - a Doberman, a Boxer and a Labrador - are sitting in the waiting room at the vet's office, when they strike up a conversation.

The Doberman turns to the Boxer and says, "So, why are you here?"

The Boxer replies, "I'm a pisser. I piss on everything - the sofa, the cat and the kids. But the final straw was last night, when I pissed in the middle of my owner's bed."

The Doberman says, "So, what is the vet going to do?"

"Castration," comes the reply from the sad Boxer.

The Doberman then turns to the Labrador and asks, "Why are you here?"

The Lab says, "I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers and trees, and I dig just for the hell of it. When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets. But I crossed the line last night, when I dug a great big hole in my owner's couch."

"So, what are they going to do to you?" the Doberman inquires. "Castration," the dejected Lab replies.

The Labrador then turns to the Doberman and asks what he's at the vet's office for.

"I'm a humper," the Doberman says. "I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat, a pillow, the table, fire hydrants, whatever. I want to hump everything I see. Yesterday, my owner had just gotten out of the shower and was bending down to dry her toes, and I couldn't help myself. I hopped onto her back and started humping away."

The Boxer and Labrador exchange a sad glance and ask, "So, castration for you, too, huh?"

The Doberman says, "No, no - I'm here to get my nails clipped."