Subject: COLONOSCOPY:

A physician claims these are actual comments from his patients, made

while he was performing colonoscopies:

1. "Take it easy, Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before."

2. "Find Amelia Earnhardt yet?"

3. "Can you hear me NOW?"

4. "Oh boy, that was sphincterrific!"

5. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

6. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."

7. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"

8. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out. You do

the Hokey Pokey, and you....

9. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"

10. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must acquit!"

11. "Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."

12. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"

AND FINALLY .

13. "Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my head is

not, in fact, up there?"

lol I had one of those done last Spring. I was awake, but "dopey". Don't remember saying anything "cute". I remember asking if I had scar tissue where they'd reattached parts of my bowel as a baby...