A Redneck And The FBI

Who says rednecks aren't real bright?

"Hello, is this the FBI?"

"Yes. What do you want?"

"I'm calling to report about my neighbor Billy Bob Smith! He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood."

"Thank you very much for the call, sir."

The next day, the FBI agents descended on Billy Bob's house. They searched the shed where the firewood was kept. Using axes, they busted open every piece of wood, but found no marijuana. They got mad, swore at Billy Bob, and left.

The phone rings at Billy Bob's house.

"Hey, Billy Bob! Did the FBI come?"

"Yeah!"

"Did they chop up your firewood?"

"Yep."

"Merry Christmas buddy!"

Almost 150 years ago, President Lincoln found it necessary to hire a private investigator, Alan Pinkerton, for protection. That was the beginning of the Secret Service.

Since that time, federal police authority has grown to a large number of multi-letter agencies - FBI, CIA, INS, IRS, DEA, ATF, etc. Now comes the Federal Air Transportation Airport Security Service. Can't you see them now? These highly trained men and women in their black outfits with initials in large white letters across their backs? F. A. T. A. S. S. - - - - - - - I feel safer already.

I Love It!!!!

And Robby does it again, Studlover are you the setup guy for Robby?

Riverwind (imported) wrote: Thu Nov 20, 2003 7:18 pm And Robby does it again, Studlover are you the setup guy for Robby?

No, but I might want the "honors."

A redneck was driving across west Texas when he was pulled over by the highway patrol. The officer approached the redneck's pickup and asked, "You got any I.D.?" The redneck replied, " 'bout what?"

Falcon (imported) wrote: Fri Nov 21, 2003 6:35 am A redneck was driving across west Texas when he was pulled over by the highway patrol. The officer approached the redneck's pickup and asked, "You got any I.D.?" The redneck replied, " 'bout what?"

I LOVE IT!!!! Thanks. You have no idea how many times I have heard that but thought nothing about it.

This one is decades old, but some may not have heard it.

A redneck truck driver is pulled over by a cop on a highway in Texas, in sight of a sign saying "speed limit 55."

The cop comes up to the truck cab, points to the sign and says, "Can't you read? The speed limit here is fifty-five."

"Of course I can read," the truck driver says. "And I only took ten of 'em."