Here are a few examples from some poorly worded ads:

2 female Boston Terrier puppies, 7 wks old, Perfect markings, 555-1234.

Leave mess.

Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.

Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.

Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.

We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

For Sale -- Eight puppies from a German Shepperd and an Alaskan Hussy.

Great Dames for sale.

Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.

Dog for sale: eats anything; is fond of children