Good Ones to Start the Day Off

[Studlover (imported)]

Women's Humor

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his

sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he

shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"

"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?" He

yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."

And they say blondes are dumb...

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A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the

happiest woman in the world" the woman says, "I'll miss you."

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"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of

the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I

mowed the lawn like this?" "Probably that I married you for your

money," she replied.

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He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to

you really badly. She said - Well, you succeeded.

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He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said - That's a

good idea...you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and

fart.

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He said - What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave

you? She said - Turn sideways and look in the mirror

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Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?

A: A rumour

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A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th

wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them

and said that because they had been such a devoted couple she

would grant each of them a very special wish. The wife wished for a

trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh! Immediately she

had airline/cruise tickets in her hands. The man wished for a female

companion 30 years younger....... Whoosh....immediately he turned

ninety!!! Gotta love that fairy!

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A WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST: She's sitting at the table with her

gourmet coffee. Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box. Her

daughter is on the cover of Business Week. Her boyfriend is on the

cover of Playgirl. And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.