"Now Listen and I Will Tell of the Gelding of the Devil of Hell"
Posted: Sun Jul 13, 2003 8:03 pm
This is a "tavern song" by Thomas D'Urfey who lived from 1653-1723. The whole cd is really funny, but I thought this particular song would be of interest here! (I know I got quite a few of the words wrong. Sorry.)
Now listen a while and I will tell of the gelding of the devil of Hell.
And Dick the baker of Mansfield town, to Manchester Market he was bound.
And under of grove of willows clear, this baker 'id on with a merry cheer!
Beneath the willows there was a hill and there he met the devil of Hell.
"May heh," quoth the devil, "Tell me that, how came thy horse so fair and fat?"
"In truth," quoth the baker, "and by my fay, because his stones were cut away.
"For he that will have a gelding free, both fair and lusty he must be."
"Oh," quoth the devil, "and say'st thou so, thou shall geld me before thou dost go."
"Go tie thy horse unto a tree and with thy knife come and geld me!"
The baker had a knife of iron and steel with which he gelded the Devil of Hell.
It was sharp-pointed for the nonce, fit for to cut any manner of stones.
The baker being lited from his horse, cut the Devil's stones from his ass.
"Ow!" quoth the Devil, "beshrow my heart, thou dost not feel how I do smart!"
"For gelding of me, thou art not quit, for I mean to geld thee this same day seven night."
The baker hearing the words he said within his heart was sore afraid.
He hide into the next market town to sell his bread both white and brown.
And when the market was done that day, the baker went home another way.
Unto his wife he then did tell how he had gelded the Devil of Hell.
"There wond'rous word I heard him say he would geld me the next market day.
"Therefore, wife, I stand in doubt." "I'd rather," quoth she, "thy naive's eyes were out."
"I'd rather thou should break thy neck bone than fall to lose any manner of stone.
"For why it will be a lothesome thing when every woman shall call thee gelding."
Thus they continued both in fear until the next market day drew near.
"Well," quoth the good wife, "well I want. Go fetch me they dublet and they coat."
"Thy hose thy shoon and capful sole and I like a man to the market will go."
Then up she got her all in haste with all her bread upon her beast.
And when she came to the hillside there she saw two devils abide.
A little devil and another, they playing under the hillside together.
"Oh," quoth the Devil without any fain, "Yonder comes the baker again.
"Be'est thou, baker, oh be'est thou woe, I mean to geld thee before thou dost go."
These were the words the woman did say, "Good sir I was gelded but yesterday."
"Oh," quoth the Devil, "that I will see," and he plucked her clothes above her knee.
And looking upwards from the ground, there he spied a grievous wound.
"Oh," quoth the Devil, "what might he be, for he was not cunning that gelded thee!
"For when he had cut away the stones clean, he should have sewed up the hole again."
He called the little devil to him and all and bid him look to that same man.
Whilst he went into a private place to fetch some salve in a little space,
The great devil was gone but a little way, but upon her belly there crept a flea.
The little devil he soon a-spied that, he up with his pore and he gave her a pat.
With that the woman began to start, and out she thrust a most horrible fart!
"Oh work," quoth he, "Come again I pray, for here's another whole broke by my fay."
The great devil he came running in haste wherein his heart was sore aghast.
"Fa!" quoth the devil, "thou art not sound! Thou stinkest so sore above the ground.
"Thy life, dejour, cannot be long. Thy breath it fumes awond'rous strong."
"The hole is cut so near the bone there is no self can stick thereon.
"And therefore, baker, I stand in doubt that all thy bowels will fall out.
"Therefore baker, hie thee away and in this place nolonger stay.
"Therefore baker, hie thee away and in this place nolonger stay."
Now listen a while and I will tell of the gelding of the devil of Hell.
And Dick the baker of Mansfield town, to Manchester Market he was bound.
And under of grove of willows clear, this baker 'id on with a merry cheer!
Beneath the willows there was a hill and there he met the devil of Hell.
"May heh," quoth the devil, "Tell me that, how came thy horse so fair and fat?"
"In truth," quoth the baker, "and by my fay, because his stones were cut away.
"For he that will have a gelding free, both fair and lusty he must be."
"Oh," quoth the devil, "and say'st thou so, thou shall geld me before thou dost go."
"Go tie thy horse unto a tree and with thy knife come and geld me!"
The baker had a knife of iron and steel with which he gelded the Devil of Hell.
It was sharp-pointed for the nonce, fit for to cut any manner of stones.
The baker being lited from his horse, cut the Devil's stones from his ass.
"Ow!" quoth the Devil, "beshrow my heart, thou dost not feel how I do smart!"
"For gelding of me, thou art not quit, for I mean to geld thee this same day seven night."
The baker hearing the words he said within his heart was sore afraid.
He hide into the next market town to sell his bread both white and brown.
And when the market was done that day, the baker went home another way.
Unto his wife he then did tell how he had gelded the Devil of Hell.
"There wond'rous word I heard him say he would geld me the next market day.
"Therefore, wife, I stand in doubt." "I'd rather," quoth she, "thy naive's eyes were out."
"I'd rather thou should break thy neck bone than fall to lose any manner of stone.
"For why it will be a lothesome thing when every woman shall call thee gelding."
Thus they continued both in fear until the next market day drew near.
"Well," quoth the good wife, "well I want. Go fetch me they dublet and they coat."
"Thy hose thy shoon and capful sole and I like a man to the market will go."
Then up she got her all in haste with all her bread upon her beast.
And when she came to the hillside there she saw two devils abide.
A little devil and another, they playing under the hillside together.
"Oh," quoth the Devil without any fain, "Yonder comes the baker again.
"Be'est thou, baker, oh be'est thou woe, I mean to geld thee before thou dost go."
These were the words the woman did say, "Good sir I was gelded but yesterday."
"Oh," quoth the Devil, "that I will see," and he plucked her clothes above her knee.
And looking upwards from the ground, there he spied a grievous wound.
"Oh," quoth the Devil, "what might he be, for he was not cunning that gelded thee!
"For when he had cut away the stones clean, he should have sewed up the hole again."
He called the little devil to him and all and bid him look to that same man.
Whilst he went into a private place to fetch some salve in a little space,
The great devil was gone but a little way, but upon her belly there crept a flea.
The little devil he soon a-spied that, he up with his pore and he gave her a pat.
With that the woman began to start, and out she thrust a most horrible fart!
"Oh work," quoth he, "Come again I pray, for here's another whole broke by my fay."
The great devil he came running in haste wherein his heart was sore aghast.
"Fa!" quoth the devil, "thou art not sound! Thou stinkest so sore above the ground.
"Thy life, dejour, cannot be long. Thy breath it fumes awond'rous strong."
"The hole is cut so near the bone there is no self can stick thereon.
"And therefore, baker, I stand in doubt that all thy bowels will fall out.
"Therefore baker, hie thee away and in this place nolonger stay.
"Therefore baker, hie thee away and in this place nolonger stay."