In case you needed further proof that the

human race is doomed through stupidity,

here are some actual label instructions

on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while

sleeping. ( and that's the only time

I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos: ..You could be a

winner! No purchase necessary. Details

inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions:

Use like regular soap." (and that would

be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners:

"Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's

"just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on

bottom): "Do not turn upside down."

(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread

Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."

(...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do

not iron clothes on body." (but

wouldn't this save me more time)?

On Boot's Children Cough

Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this

medication." (We

could do a lot to reduce the rate of

construction accidents if we could just

get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."

(and...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights:

"For indoor or outdoor use only." (as

opposed to...what)?

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now,

somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning:

contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:

"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume:

"Wearing of this garment does not enable you

to fly." (I don't blame the company.

I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chain saw: "Do not

attempt to stop chain with your hands or

genitals." (...was there a lot of

this happening somewhere?)

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