For Andrew
Posted: Wed May 28, 2003 7:44 pm
Dog and Cat Letters to God
Dear God:
How come people love to smell flowers but seldom smell one another? Where are their priorities?
Dear God:
When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?
Dear God:
Excuse me, but why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray and the rabbit, but not one named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride. I realize every breed cannot have its own model, but how hard could it be to rename the Chrysler Eagle the Chrysler Beagle?
Dear God:
If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God:
Is it true that in Heaven, dining room tables have on-ramps?
Dear God:
When we get to the Pearly G ates, do we have to shake hands to get in?
Dear God:
We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
Dear God:
Are there dogs on other planets or are we alone? I have been howling at the moon and stars for a long time, but all I ever hear back is the beagle across the street.
Dear God:
Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God:
Is it true that dogs are not allowed in restaurants because we can't make up our minds what NOT to order? Or is it the carpets thing, again?
Dear God:
Can you undo what that doctor did?
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A Cat's Letter to God
Dear God:
Do you exist? I'm just curious. I really don't care.
Dear God:
How come people love to smell flowers but seldom smell one another? Where are their priorities?
Dear God:
When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?
Dear God:
Excuse me, but why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray and the rabbit, but not one named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride. I realize every breed cannot have its own model, but how hard could it be to rename the Chrysler Eagle the Chrysler Beagle?
Dear God:
If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God:
Is it true that in Heaven, dining room tables have on-ramps?
Dear God:
When we get to the Pearly G ates, do we have to shake hands to get in?
Dear God:
We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
Dear God:
Are there dogs on other planets or are we alone? I have been howling at the moon and stars for a long time, but all I ever hear back is the beagle across the street.
Dear God:
Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God:
Is it true that dogs are not allowed in restaurants because we can't make up our minds what NOT to order? Or is it the carpets thing, again?
Dear God:
Can you undo what that doctor did?
------------
A Cat's Letter to God
Dear God:
Do you exist? I'm just curious. I really don't care.
