My lifelong interest in castration I owe to my mother. I can't have been more than 7 years old before she began explaining how boys were castrated and why. She never said "boy" - only "little person" i.e. "They take the little person to the doctor, who snips out his little balls and stitches him up. If it was done to you, you would always be a plump little boy and your voice would never deepen".

I remember that Abelard was described as a "little person" and my mother suffered from the fallacy that he at once acquired a treble voice after his operation.

She also used to elaborate on animal castration, especially horses. "A young horse always has to have his balls taken out, so he can never "do it" with a mare, however hard he tries". I knew that if I had my balls taken out I could never "do it" with a girl, and I became very sorry for the horse!.

C van D

My interest/fixation in Fm-castration was also induced by my mother. My German mother was raped in a Dutch concentration camp (1940-1944) on Bonaire (Netherlands Antilles) by the Dutch.

During early childhood she dissipated pain in raping my younger brother anally with all kinds of objects, and then, performing suggesting castration rituals on me. The "disturbance"in the son (that's me) is fairly well documented and studied psychoanalytically. The fixation, originating from juvinile psychotrauma shaped my life and relation with the other sex. I'm not intended to bother this community with sob stories, but I believe that for a substantial number of people visiting this site, juvenile trauma may play a role.

wheswyk@yahoo.de

Dorian

Continued:

The Fm-castration theme is generally considered in the present psychiatric world as psychopathological condition. However, thorough inspection of historical and psychoanalytical data show that the theme is archetypal of nature. That is, omnipresent, but buried below the Freudian Mm-castration theme that reflects the controversy between the father and the boy. The latter solution is in its extreme form could also be considered as psychopathological, as its leads to war and conflicts with other males: castrate your enemy and fuck his daughters, as my very own mother has expierenced in a Dutch concentration camp. Both the Fm- and Mm-castration themes can therefore be considered as a "normal" adaption in the the development of the boy into a man.

Dorian

might be continued.

C van D (imported) wrote: Mon May 26, 2003 10:00 pm My lifelong interest in castration I owe to my mother. I can't have been more than 7 years old before she began explaining how boys were castrated and why. She never said "boy" - only "little person" i.e. "They take the little person to the doctor, who snips out his little balls and stitches him up. If it was done to you, you would always be a plump little boy and your voice would never deepen".

I remember that Abelard was described as a "little person" and my mother suffered from the fallacy that he at once acquired a treble voice after his operation.

Can any other readers trace their interest to a similar experience?

C van D

Hello C van D,

Do you live in Holland aswell? In my childhood my mother allways told me that i had a vagina but that it was difficult to see for myself. As i was about 11 or 12 years of age I tried to find my vagina....

Crazy and harmfull I think now.

Still I fantasize now about boys and men with vagina s instead of balls and penises and it turns me on!

Are you or someone else maybe interested in meeting?

kind regards Ernst in the Netherlands

I know my castration interests and fantasies go back to my childhood, but I've wondered why I have them and what caused them.

I don't think it was anything either of my parents did or said or anything. My childhood was very normal, I cannot recall anything at all of any kind in my growing up that would have caused me to have this interest or fantasies about castration. So what caused them?

I do know even as a child I had feelings of submission to women and girls and wanting women and girls to "control" me and do "bad" things to me. I've always felt more comfortable with my arms covered in long sleeves. I've always been turned on by women and girls wearing long sleeves with their sleeves rolled up above their elbows. I have always even as a child just felt more comfortable thinking of God as being female. I remember as a child having feelings of wanting women or girls to cut my boy parts off and have them make me hurt when they did it. I'm not sure just when I learned about castration and what it was, but when I did I quickly developed fantasies about being castrated by women.

I also knew most people don't have these kinds of feelings and fantasies, so I kept my feelings and fantasies to myself.

Like I said there was nothing in my growing up that would have caused me to have these feelings and fantasies. They just kind of were always there and developed on their own. So I have wondered why I have them and what caused them.

Women who are interested in castration and have castration fantasies, it would be interesting to know what caused them to have those feelings and interests.

Women who have a strong fascination with male castration, women who have strong fantasies where she castrates a man, fantasies where she has a eunuch as a slave or pet, a eunuch who she herself has castrated, it would be interesting to know about the background of a woman like this and to know what caused her to be interested or fascinated with castration and have fantasies of castrating a man.

I like your story - I can't say that I can think of one instance that made me interested in my castration, but I have 'mommy' fantasies like you described your real-life experience.

You explained 'how' your Mommy described boys getting castrated - what was her explanation for 'why'? I'm interested in finding out if it was because of punishment or what...

thanks - SqueezeMe.

It's odd that this thread got revived at this point in time, as a couple of us were just discussing how parents can cause a castration complex/interest in young boys by threatening them with it. What may seem to be a harmless joke may really do some serious damage to the boy. Our discussions are still ongoing, though.

My interest in castratioin began as a possible means of "curing" myself of homosexuality. I was 15 when I realized that I was "one of those". At that time, the mid-1940's, homophobia was more overt and, I think, more intense than today. Homosexuals were regarded with disgust and contempt. they were despised and loathed, regarded as only slightly less vile than axe-murderers and on par with "dope fiends" and "sex fiends". When I discovered what I was, my already shaky self-esteem was shattered. I had been a sickly child and was a miserable coward. I was home alone when I realized the awful truth and I cried for hours. I despised myself as much as everyone else I knew despised homos. I had begun to shave at 14 and I couldn't bear to look at my face in the mirror when I shaved, the face of a queer. I seriously considered suicide and made a few half-hearted attempts, but was much too much of a coward to carry them out. One day I said in disgust at my weakness and cowardice "It's no use. I don't have the balls to do it." That was when, in accordance with cartoon convention, a light bulb lit up over my head. Gadzooks ! If I didn't have balls, I wouldn't have any sex urge and so, I wouldn't be queer any more. All I had to do is find some way of castrating myself, and the courage to carry it out, and I'd be "cured" ! That was the start of my lifelong interest in castration. My mother, though she hated men, also despised homosexuals and played no part in this.

Just found SqueezeMe's now ancient enquiry (early 2005). He asks, did my mother ever explain why boys were castrated - was it as a punishment? Not that I can recall. But in telling me the Abelard story in which she described him as a "little person" her explanation was "so that he could never "do it" with a girl." After hearing the story I used to examine my 7-year-old "privates" and speculate on what "doing it with a girl" actually meant. I think there's quite a lot of mileage here.

C van D

It was from my mother, also, that I got the notion - of which I was fully convinced - that page-boys who attended little princesses were "suitably pruned" so as to make them sexually harmless. She never minced words and when I asked what "pruned" meant, replied "taken to the doctor to have their little balls taken out, darling".

C van D