How to Deal with SARS

[Studlover (imported)]

Health & Welfare Canada

Minister of Health

P.O Box 89743

Ottawa ON, K2K 3W5

Ottawa, April 1, 2003

IMPORTANT NOTICE TO PHYSICIANS

CONFIDENTIAL

Subject : S.A.R.S. contamination in most Provinces

Recent studies conducted on "SARS" (for which we have just received conclusive results) indicate that in certain cases this can be transmitted through casual contact. We foresee continued contamination in most Canadian provinces. Cases have been reported in Montreal (3), Windsor (2), Toronto (24), Vancouver (12), Halifax (2) and more recently in Ottawa (1).

It was observed that the subjects examined were regular travellers or exposed to regular travellers to Hong Kong, Vietnam or China. Most (97.6%) of the subjects would encounter serious problems with their vision when having gone without sexual relations for 1 to 2 days on average.

Extended periods without sexual relations would seriously affect the individuals reading capabilities. The subjects would also feel a trembling sensation. In extreme cases, individuals would start to hallucinate and see coloured specks when staring at an object for extended periods.

If you encounter any such patients having these symptoms, please contact the Crisis Centre in Ottawa immediately.

Our research to date has resulted in a cure, Sexual relations every day for 3 months!!!

Please pass this document on to all your employees & patients at once!!!