At least one of these ought to cause a smile!

1. Jesse Jackson, Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an

impressive new book. It's called "Ministers Do More Than Lay People."

2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.

3. The difference between the Pope and your boss...the Pope only

expects you to kiss his ring.

4. My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.

5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in

the bathroom.

6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the

drink spilled, and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.

7. It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course,

there's shipping and handling, too.

8. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the

impression that he just cleaned the whole house.

9. My next house will have no kitchen--just vending machines and a

large trash can.

10. A brunette said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to

rip me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn

signal fluid."

11. I'm so depressed. My doctor refused to write me a prescription

for Viagra. He said it would be like putting a new flagpole on a

condemned building.

12. My neighbor was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he

was and found him writing frantically on a piece of paper. I told

him rabies could be cured and he didn't have to worry about a Will.

He said, "Will? What Will? I'm making a list of the people I want

to bite."

13. Definition of a teenager? God's punishment for enjoying sex.

14. Two blondes each paid $500. to go on a cruise. They were put

on inner tubes and sent floating down a river. One blonde asked,

"Don't they serve refreshments on this cruise?" The other one replied,

"They didn't last year!"

15. As we slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never

point in the wrong direction.

Have a nice day!