Do you think the nurse is being reasonable?
Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2003 1:14 am
This is a conversation I had with a nurse on my HMO's message board. Do you think she's being reasonable, from the point of view of one who does not unconditionally trust the medical profession?
Personally, I get the feeling that she's being inflexible, subscribing to the viewpoint that all women should menstruate. For example, when she said "Hopefully, she will start menstruating on her own and she won't have to make this decision", I read that as "and she won't have the option of making this decision".
It's not related to castration, although I think there are similarities.
---
happousai:
I know a 16-year old girl, who has never menstruated before. Her
mother is concerned and wants her to go to a doctor to have it
checked out. But she doesn't want to, because she's afraid that the
doctor will make her start menstruating.
She thinks menstruation is gross, and says she doesn't want to have
kids, so why should she go through the trouble of menstruating.
Should she go see the doctor? What can she expect to happen if she
sees the doctor?
KPBetsRNC:
Hi happousai- There can be any number of reasons for the delay in
menarche (starting periods). If hormone tests and anatomical review
show no problems, she just may be delayed in starting her cycles,
and there is nothing to worry about. But if a problem is discovered,
it could be corrected sooner rather than later.
happousai:
But if she goes to see the doctor, would he view her amnorrhea as a
problem to be corrected?
Because she would prefer that she never menstruates.
KPBetsRNC:
Hi happousai- It would only be considered a problem if they found a
problem causing this. She may just be a "late bloomer", but it's
worth investigating. If she "never" menstruates, she may have
difficulty getting pregnant in the future. I know that's not a
concern for her now, but wouldn't she like to know if there might be
something wrong? Does anyone else have experiences to share?
happousai:
> If she "never" menstruates, she may have difficulty getting
> pregnant in the future.
She does not intend to get pregnant in the future. I consider her to
be a very bright girl. Although she is only 16 years old, she is
already attending university. So, I place much confidence in her
stating that she never wishes to have children.
> I know that's not a concern for her now, but wouldn't she like to
> know if there might be something wrong?
Well, she recognizes that primary amnorrhea may be a symptom of some
problem with adverse health implications (such as osteoperosis). If
she has such a problem that can cause adverse health risks (other
than infertility), then she wants to get that fixed.
But she is not willing to go to the doctor unless she's sure the
doctor would not force her to menstruate. It's fine if he has to
correct a problem that would impact her health, but she doesn't want
him to make her menstruate just because it's normal for women to
menstruate. (She tells me that just because something is normal,
doesn't mean it's good. For example, if she were normal, she would
enduring high school right now instead of going to university.)
All the literature that I and her have read online regarding primary
amenorrhea talks about what the doctor will do to make menstruation
start, which is exactly what she doesn't want! She is very surprised
that apparently, not menstruating is not even mentioned as an option
in those webpages. So she is afraid if she goes to the doctor, he
will try to make her start menstruating against her will.
Oh, another complication here: Her mother doesn't trust her decision
to never get pregnant, and wants her to have normal periods.
...So, the question boils down to: If she goes to the doctor to have
her primary amenorrhea checked out, can she be assured that he will
not force her to menstruate, even though she's a minor and her
mother wants her to menstruate, and even though the standard
treatment for primary amenorrhea is to try to induce normal
menstruation?
KPBetsRNC:
Hi happousai- As bright as this girl is, her maturity level is not
at the point where she can make the decision now that she will not
want children in the future. I know "bright" 40 year olds who make
that decision and regret it later. However, it's good to hear that
she does not want children at this point in her life. The fact that
she thinks menstruation is "gross" gives away her maturity level.
Unless the 16 year old has her medical degree, she should not be
allowed to make medical decisions for herself, without first
consulting with a Dr. Research doesn't take the place of medical
testing. Of course, no one can force her to take medication if it is
recommended. But I would think it would make sense to rule out a
worse-case scenario before avoiding a Dr. altogether. And the answer
is-- I cannot assure anything.... only make recommendations.
Hopefully, she will start menstruating on her own and she won't have
to make this decision. I hope everything goes well for her.
Personally, I get the feeling that she's being inflexible, subscribing to the viewpoint that all women should menstruate. For example, when she said "Hopefully, she will start menstruating on her own and she won't have to make this decision", I read that as "and she won't have the option of making this decision".
It's not related to castration, although I think there are similarities.
---
happousai:
I know a 16-year old girl, who has never menstruated before. Her
mother is concerned and wants her to go to a doctor to have it
checked out. But she doesn't want to, because she's afraid that the
doctor will make her start menstruating.
She thinks menstruation is gross, and says she doesn't want to have
kids, so why should she go through the trouble of menstruating.
Should she go see the doctor? What can she expect to happen if she
sees the doctor?
KPBetsRNC:
Hi happousai- There can be any number of reasons for the delay in
menarche (starting periods). If hormone tests and anatomical review
show no problems, she just may be delayed in starting her cycles,
and there is nothing to worry about. But if a problem is discovered,
it could be corrected sooner rather than later.
happousai:
But if she goes to see the doctor, would he view her amnorrhea as a
problem to be corrected?
Because she would prefer that she never menstruates.
KPBetsRNC:
Hi happousai- It would only be considered a problem if they found a
problem causing this. She may just be a "late bloomer", but it's
worth investigating. If she "never" menstruates, she may have
difficulty getting pregnant in the future. I know that's not a
concern for her now, but wouldn't she like to know if there might be
something wrong? Does anyone else have experiences to share?
happousai:
> If she "never" menstruates, she may have difficulty getting
> pregnant in the future.
She does not intend to get pregnant in the future. I consider her to
be a very bright girl. Although she is only 16 years old, she is
already attending university. So, I place much confidence in her
stating that she never wishes to have children.
> I know that's not a concern for her now, but wouldn't she like to
> know if there might be something wrong?
Well, she recognizes that primary amnorrhea may be a symptom of some
problem with adverse health implications (such as osteoperosis). If
she has such a problem that can cause adverse health risks (other
than infertility), then she wants to get that fixed.
But she is not willing to go to the doctor unless she's sure the
doctor would not force her to menstruate. It's fine if he has to
correct a problem that would impact her health, but she doesn't want
him to make her menstruate just because it's normal for women to
menstruate. (She tells me that just because something is normal,
doesn't mean it's good. For example, if she were normal, she would
enduring high school right now instead of going to university.)
All the literature that I and her have read online regarding primary
amenorrhea talks about what the doctor will do to make menstruation
start, which is exactly what she doesn't want! She is very surprised
that apparently, not menstruating is not even mentioned as an option
in those webpages. So she is afraid if she goes to the doctor, he
will try to make her start menstruating against her will.
Oh, another complication here: Her mother doesn't trust her decision
to never get pregnant, and wants her to have normal periods.
...So, the question boils down to: If she goes to the doctor to have
her primary amenorrhea checked out, can she be assured that he will
not force her to menstruate, even though she's a minor and her
mother wants her to menstruate, and even though the standard
treatment for primary amenorrhea is to try to induce normal
menstruation?
KPBetsRNC:
Hi happousai- As bright as this girl is, her maturity level is not
at the point where she can make the decision now that she will not
want children in the future. I know "bright" 40 year olds who make
that decision and regret it later. However, it's good to hear that
she does not want children at this point in her life. The fact that
she thinks menstruation is "gross" gives away her maturity level.
Unless the 16 year old has her medical degree, she should not be
allowed to make medical decisions for herself, without first
consulting with a Dr. Research doesn't take the place of medical
testing. Of course, no one can force her to take medication if it is
recommended. But I would think it would make sense to rule out a
worse-case scenario before avoiding a Dr. altogether. And the answer
is-- I cannot assure anything.... only make recommendations.
Hopefully, she will start menstruating on her own and she won't have
to make this decision. I hope everything goes well for her.