Now look all of you out there........ Im writting what I am feeling and what is happening to me whaile im doing it and experiencing it. I do not understand it, and resolution will come, but it isint comming so fast. In fact as the days go on... it seems I get more confussed or uncertain what to do with ole Scottie. Ok so you always wanted a real Mistress ; Yes I did and I have one now. The conflict for me is... she enjoys penis and orgasam denial and control. If you can't get hard then she can't train you in the way she wants. So?????? Well The doctor has given you this androgen stuff and everything is working great..... Ah there is the rub (excuse the pun) do you want to be able to get hard? or do you want to experience no hormones. Well so far every day when I stand in the bathroom a series of feelings goes through me. I love my shape, very little hair anywhere on my body my legs are great lookng and I feel so prissy and so happy I could just hug myself. Then I walk over and smear that male hormone cream all over my chest and arms. Then I stand there and wonder why I did that. Part of it is fear I think after all ... my job.... my friends... my Mistresss... part of it is I still am more secure being who I am now then what I might become. and I go back and forth on it day and night. Then I lay down at nioght and fondle my sac and that just sends good chills through my body, and then I fall asleep........ I like being a male, but part of me wants to let this cute prissy girl out of me and to get the prolactin to help me chage my thinking and my breast size..... Oh well just kinda Mind talking to you all. It still is all wonderful and it all feels great, but it sure can be a bit unsetteling. hee hee hee And so it goes Scottie

Scottie i have herd that most people are going into a crisis or thay are in one or thay are just geting out of one so i guess most of us are in that mixer at one time or the other .Sound about rite.

Sag! Thanks for the levity! Your right and Im just movin down the road. Be well! Scottie

...it could be argued that the intact male puts in heavy cream whilst the eunuch puts in skim milk.