Over the past decade and a half I've passed as male, female, and confusing. Currently, with my face-fur back again, I'm passing as "male."
How do I feel most comfortable being seen?
Probably as male, though legitimately passing as female was interesting and quite fascinating.
Thing is, for me at least, the presentation for passing was a whole lot of "work" for me, and since I didn't have a really deep seated "drive" to need it I could drop it without a tremendous amount of difficulty.
These days I'm just a guy who dresses rather oddly, but people get used to that.
Scottie, it really depends on who you are deep inside. If you are psychologicly male, so be it, if female, then you have a lot of work ahead. With luck you will find out who/what you are, and how you need to present that to others.
You may even find that you are most comfortable as some variation of "androgyne."
Thing is, most everyone in society/culture needs to make a determination of "what sex is this individual" before they can comfortably fit them in to one of only two boxes that most people have in their minds for that. If one does not comfortably catagorize into one of those two, there is a tremendous difficulty for most people in interacting an a consistant manner, and they often get angry ...
I used to enjoy sometimes presenting a totally mixed bag of clues so that I would end up flopping about from one box to another in their minds. There are some people who can deal with that, even easily, and others (the majority) who have a great difficulty, and cannot.
In that second worldview there are only two sexes, they are at the extremes, there IS no middle ground, and you are as you were born.
(Yes, there are those born in the middle - I was to some extent - but those rigid minds do not recognize THAT possibility, either. To them a person is born either Male or Female, and is stuck with that for life - THERE IS NO GREY AREA! If one presents so as to disagree with how the world absolutely works in their opinion, they reject it, and often become angry at the person who will not cooperate and fit into how things must be. These folks are the ones who can even become violently physical when their worldview is challenged.)
Once you are certain you have identified who you are/need to be, then you can work on being that individual, full time, no "passing," no artifice.
So, who am I? Difficult to define, but generally presenting as a rather gentle but strong person who is male, but not aggresively so.
Maybe it's the tights, eh?
(Sorry for wandering a bit in this post, but I had a lot of disparate ideas warring to be expressed, and gave none of them enough space or time.)
Take care,
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