2002's Best News Headlines.

1.. Crack Found on Governor's Daughter

2.. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

3.. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

4.. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

5.. Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus? (not if you wipe well)

6.. Prostitutes Appeal to Pope

7.. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

8.. Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

9.. Miners Refuse to Work after Death

10.. Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

11.. War Dims Hope for Peace

12.. If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile

13.. Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

14.. Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

15.. Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

16.. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

17.. Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge

18.. New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

19.. Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

20.. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

21.. Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy

22.. Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

23.. Hospital are sued by 7 foot doctors.

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Spotted in a toilet of a London office:

TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

In a Laundromat:

AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT

GOES OUT

In a London department store:

BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In an office:

WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY

PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

In an office:

AFTER TEA BREAK, STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND

STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

Outside a secondhand shop:

WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC.

WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Notice in health food shop window:

CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

Spotted in a safari park:

ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

Seen during a conference:

FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT,

THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR

Notice in a field:

THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR

FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES

Message on a leaflet:

IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO

GET LESSONS

On a repair shop door:

WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING.(PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE

DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK.

No one caught it, I don't think, but the local paper the other day described a murder as "homocide".

The poor guy wasn't even gay, either.

The “headline list” is an oldie, but one of my favorites. When I was still teaching, I used an overhead of it to talk to my students about why they should never trust “grammar checkers.” All of the headlines would pass.

I’ll look for the poem that I used as evidence that spell checkers don’t catch everything. Every word is a properly spelled homonym for the correct one.

Jesus,

I posted one one the board sometime ago, but I cannot remember if that is before or after we lost the old threads.

Unfortunately, I lost my copy when the hard disc on my PC crashed and I couldn't find a backup with it on. Oh well.

LOL