How it is in the South!

[Studlover (imported)]

Texas, of course, is first and primarily Texas,...but it also suits us to consider ourselves "Southerners."

This has been around before. I've just come back from having seen "Gods and Generals," so while all this "Southern tawk" is still echoing in my head...I'll go ahead and forward this as a reminder...

Studlover

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1.) Only a true Southerner knows the difference between a hissie

fit and a conniption, and that you don't "HAVE" them, --

you "PITCH" them.

2.) Only a true Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens,

turnip greens, peas, beans, etc. make up "a mess."

3.) Only a true Southerner can show or point out to you the

general direction of "yonder."

4.) Only a true Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is -

as in: "Going to town, be back directly."

5.) All true Southerners, even babies, know that "Gimme some

sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance

that sits in a pretty little bowl on the middle of the table.

6.) All true Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They

might not use the term, but they know the concept well.

7.) Only a true Southerner knows instinctively that the best

gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of

hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. (If the

neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large

banana puddin'!)

8.) Only true Southerners grow up knowing the difference

between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know

that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.

9.) Only a true Southerner both knows and understands the

difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.

10.) No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the

flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

11.) A true Southerner knows that "fixin'" can be used as a noun,

a verb, or an adverb.

12.) Only a true Southerner knows that the term "booger" can be a

resident of the nose, a descriptive, as in "that ol' booger," a

first name or something that jumps out at you in the dark and

scares you senseless.

13.) Only true Southerners make friends while standing in lines.

We don't do "queues", we do "lines," and when we're "in line," we

talk to everybody!

14.) Put 100 true Southerners in a room and half of them will

discover they're related, even if only by marriage.

15.) True Southerners never refer to one person as "y'all."

16.) True Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat

them.

17.) Every true Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits,

and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that redeye gravy is also a

breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast

food.

18.) When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself

lookin' .. ," you know you are in the presence of a genuine

Southerner!

19.) Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet

tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it - we do not like

our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.

20.) A true Southerner knows that if you are with a couple of

friends you, you could be with 2 or 10. The number doesn't matter.

21.) And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at

little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just

say, "Bless her heart" and go your own way.