O.K., so you want BLONDE, HUH?

[A-1 (imported)]

Q. Why did the Blonde climb the glass wall?

A. To see what was on the other side.

Q.How do you get a twinkle in a Blonde's eye?

A. Shine a flashlight in her ear.

Q. Why is it harder to make a Blonde snowman compared to a brunette snowman?

A. Because you have to hollow out the head.

Q. What did the Blonde say when she found out that she was pregnant?

A. Are you sure it was me?

Q.What do you call a Blond with half a brain?

A. Gifted!

Q. What is it called when a Blonde dyes her hair brunette?

A. Artifical intelligence.

Q. How can you tell when a Blonde has been using your computer?

A. There is correction fluid all over the screen.

Q. Why did the Blonde have tire tread marks on her back?

A. From crawling across the street because the sigh said "don't walk."

Q. Why did the Blonde tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?

A. So she would not wake the sleeping pills.

Q. Why did the blonde take her keyboard to the doctor?

A. She thought that it was pregnant because it was missing a period.

Q. Why don't Blondes make Kool Aid?

A. Because they cannot fit 8 cups of water into that tiny package.

Q. What does a blonde and a cold beer have in common?

A. They are both empty from the neck up.

Q. How can you tell a smart blonde from a dumb blonde.

A. The smart blonde has dark roots.

Q. Why do so few Blondes become nuns?

A. Because most cannot bring themselves to say "Superior" after "Mother"

Q. How many Blonde jokes are there?

A. None. They are all true.

Q. Why do blondes have TGIF written on their shoes?

A. Toes Go In First

Q. Why did the blonde stare at the frozen orange juice can for 3 hours?

A. Because the label said "Concentrate"

Q. Why do blondes smile during lightning storms?

A. Because they think that their picture is being taken.

Q. Why did 20 Blondes stand outside the Strip Club?

A. Because the sign said "You must be 21 to Enter"

Q. What do you call a Blonde standing between two brunettes

A. A mental block.

Q. What you you call a brunette standing between two blondes?

A. Interpreter

Q. Why are their no brunette jokes?

A. Because Blondes would have to make them up.

The blonde walks into the Pharmacy and asks for some bottom deodorant.

The Pharmacist, a little bemused, attempts to explain to her that they do not sell bottom deodorant. Unfazed, the Blonde explains that she has been buying the stuff from his store for a number of years and that she would like for him to go to the storeroom and get more.

Puzzled the Pharmacist accompanies her to the shelf and discovers that there is no deodorant in the empty box.

He shruggs his shoulders and tells the blonde to wait and that he will go get a full crate of the stuff.

Upon returning he explains to her that the box just contains normal stick deodorant.

Irritated, the blonde snatches a container from the box, glares at the Pharmacist and reads in a loud voice, "To Apply, Push Up Bottom."

This blonde decides that she is sick and tired of the blonde jokes and that she will prove to her hubby that blondes are not stupid.

While he is off to work she decides that she will paint a couple of rooms in their house. Later that day, Hubby comes home and smells the odor of sweat coming from their house. He walks into the living room and finds his wife laying on the floor in a huge puddle of sweat.

He runs to her and askes her if she is all right. She faintly replies "yes". Then, he asked her what she was doing. She explained to him that she had decided to prove to him that she was not just a dumb blonde and that she would paint two rooms in the house while he was at work. He asks her why she has on her fur coat and her ski jacket over that.

She tells him it is because the instructions on the paint can said "FOR BEST RESULTS PUT ON TWO COATS"

A cop was walking down the street and sees this beautiful blonde woman walking toward him in cutoffs with her left breast hanging out of her tight tank top.

The officer could not believe his eyes. He stopped her and told her that he could arrest her for indecent exposure for walking down the street with her breast out.

Alarmed the blonde looked down at her breast and screamed,

OH MY GOD! I LEFT MY BABY ON THE BUS!!!

A Blonde was Flying to Europe on a Boeing 747 and the captain announced that the plane had a problem and that he had to shut down an engine. He explained that the trip would take an additional hour. Later, the captain announced that the plane had a problem and that he had to shut down a second engine and that the flight would take an additional 3 hours. Still later, the captain announced that the plane had a problem and that he had to shut down a second engine and that the flight would take an additional 3 hours on top of that....

The blonde looked at the Stewardess and said, THAT'S JUST GREAT! If we lose another engine we will be up here all night!"

[colin (imported)]

So, why to Blondes wear panties? To keep their ankles warm of course!

How do you get a Blonde to smile in the morning? Tell her a joke the night before.

(Only in this country they are known as Essex Girls - just as dumb).