Burma Shave

[Studlover (imported)]

For those of us "old" enough to recall these, what memories! For the "younger" group, the "Burma Shave" signs were posted along highways during the 40's and 50's and made great "entertainment" on long trips when there were no super highways.

Enjoy!

Subject: MORE Burma Shave signs

WITHIN THIS VALE

OF TOIL

AND SIN

YOUR HEAD GROWS BALD

BUT NOT YOUR CHIN

Burma-Shave

DINAH DOESN'T

TREAT HIM RIGHT

BUT IF

HE'D SHAVE

DINAH-MITE!

Burma-Shave

BEFORE I TRIED IT

THE KISSES

I MISSED

BUT AFTERWARD-BOY!

THE MISSES I KISSED

Burma-Shave

IF YOU

DON'T KNOW

WHOSE SIGNS

THESE ARE

YOU CAN'T HAVE

DRIVEN VERY FAR

Burma-Shave

To change that

Shaving job

To joy

You gotta use

The real McCoy

Burma-Shave

Tho stiff

The beard

That Nature gave

It shaves

Like down with

Burma-Shave

His crop of

Whiskers

Needed reaping

That's what kept

His Lena leaping

Burma-Shave

The blackened forest

Smoulders yet

Because

He flipped

A cigaret

Burma-Shave

Jar so big

Cost so small

Coolest

Smoothest

Shave of all

Burma-Shave

Slow down, Pa

Sakes alive

Ma missed signs

Four

And five

Burma-Shave

Grandpa knows

It ain't too late

He's gone

To git

Some widder bait

Burma-Shave

Free--free

A trip

To Mars

For 900

Empty jars

Burma-Shave

A Christmas hug

A birthday kiss

Awaits

The woman

Who gives this

Burma-Shave

The big blue tube's

Just like Louise

You get

A thrill

>From every squeeze

Burma-Shave

The monkey took

One look at Jim

And threw the peanuts

Back at him

He needed

Burma-Shave

Substitutes

Can let you down

Quicker

Than a

Strapless gown

Burma-Shave

For shaving comfort

Without

A sting

That big blue tube

Has everything

Burma-Shave

6 million housewives

Can't be wrong

Who keep

Their husbands

Right along in

Burma-Shave

Try a tube

Its cooling

Power

Refreshes like

An April shower

Burma-Shave

One shave lasts

All day through

Face feels

Cool and

Smoother too

Burma-Shave

Take

Your

Time

Not

Your life

Burma-Shave

Cattle crossing

Means go slow

That old bull

Is some

Cow's beau

Burma-Shave

Does your husband

Misbehave

Grunt and grumble

Rant and rave?

Shoot the brute some

Burma-Shave

The draftee

Tried a tube

And purred

Well whaddya know

I've been defurred

Burma-Shave

This cooling shave

Will never fail

To stamp

Its user

First class male

Burma-Shave

Drinking drivers--

Nothing worse

They put

The quart

Before the hearse

Burma-Shave

Men

With whiskers

'Neath their noses

Oughta have to kiss

Like eskimoses

Burma-Shave

Said farmer Brown

Who's bald

On top

Wish I could

Rotate the crop

Burma-Shave

Don't

Try passing

On a slope

Unless you have

A periscope

Burma-Shave

Passing cars

When you can't see

May get you

A glimpse

Of eternity

Burma-Shave

Don't leave safety

To mere chance

That's why

Belts are

Sold with pants

Burma-Shave

At a quiz

Pa ain't

No whiz

But he knows how

To keep Ma his

Burma-Shave

Many a forest

Used to stand

Where a

Lighted match

Got out of hand

Burma-Shave

Baby your skin

Keep it fitter

Or "baby"

Will get

Another sitter

Burma-Shave

Use this cream

A day

Or two

Then don't call her--

She'll call you

Burma-Shave

The poorest guy

In the

Human race

Can have a

Million dollar face

Burma-Shave

If daisies

Are your

Favorite flower

Keep pushin' up those

Miles-per-hour

Burma-Shave

He lit a match

To check gas tank

That's why

They call him

Skinless frank

Burma-Shave

The one who

Drives when

He's been drinking

Depends on you

To do his thinking

Burma-Shave

This cream

Is like

A parachute

There isn't

Any substitute

Burma-Shave

Tempted to try it?

Follow your hunch

Be "Top Banana"

Not one

Of the bunch

Burma-Shave

Bristles scratched

His cookie's map

That's what

Made poor

Ginger snap

Burma-Shave

We've made Grandpa

Look so youthful

His pension board

Thinks

He's untruthful

Burma-Shave

Use our cream

And we betcha

Girls won't wait

They'll come

And getcha

Burma-Shave

Henry the Eighth

Sure had

Trouble

Short term wives

Long term stubble

Burma-Shave

Angels

Who guard you

When you drive

Usually

Reture at 65

Burma-Shave

Forest fires

Start from scratch

So think before

You toss

That match

Burma-Shave

Dim your lights

Behind a car

Let folks see

How bright

YOU are

Burma-Shave

Thirty days

Hath September

April

June and the

Speed offender

Burma-Shave

Others claim

Their product good

But ours

Does what

You think it should

Burma-Shave

Ben

Met Anna

Made a hit

Neglected beard

Ben-Anna split

Burma-Shave

Drowsy?

Just remember, pard

That marble slab

Is doggone

Hard

Burma-Shave

Statistics prove

Near and far

That folks who

Drive like crazy

--Are!

Burma-Shave

Dear lover boy,

Your photo came

But your doggone beard

Won't fit

The frame

Burma-Shave

This will never

Come to pass

A back-seat

Driver

Out of gas

Burma-Shave

Don't lose

Your head

To gain a minute

You need your head

Your brains are in it

Burma-Shave

If a gift

You must choose

Give him one

He'll like

To use

Burma-Shave

Pedro

Walked

Back home, by golly

His bristly chin

Was hot-to-Molly

Burma-Shave

If our road signs

Catch your eye

Smile

But don't forget

To buy

Burma-Shave

When the stork

Delivers a boy

OUr whole

Darn factory

Jumps for joy

Burma-Shave

Film protects

Your neck

And chin

So your razor

Won't dig in

Burma-Shave

A shave

That's real

No cuts to heal

A soothing

Velvet after-feel

Burma-Shave

If hugging

On highways

Is your sport

Trade in your car

For a davenport

Burma-Shave

In cupid's little

Bag of trix

Here's the one

That clix

With chix

Burma-Shave

A guy

Who wants

To middle-aisle it

Must never scratch

His little Violet

Burma-Shave

Every day

We do

Our part

To make your face

A work of art

Burma-Shave

Thrifty jars for

Stay at homes

Handy tubes

For him

Who roams

Burma-Shave

We don't

Know how

To split an atom

But as to whiskers

Let us at 'em

Burma-Shave

If you want

A hearty squeeze

Get our

Female

Anti-freeze

Burma-Shave

Can't shave daily?

Tender hide?

Now be honest

Have you

Tried

Burma-Shave

The chick

He wed

Let out a whoop

Felt his chin and

Flew the coop

Burma-Shave

Our fortune

Is your

Shaven face

It's our best

Advertising space

Burma-Shave

[radar (imported)]

Ah, those are great! What memories!

Between the Burma Shave signs, the barns painted with Red Pouch Tobacco ads, and the billboards advertising South of the Border, drives through VA, TN and the Carolinas used to be a major treat. Now they're just boring. The culture has lost so much....