Subject: Exercise

It is well documented that for every minute that you exercise, you add one minute to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000 per month.

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My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. Now she's 97 years old and we don't know where the hell she is.

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The only reason I would take up exercising is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

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I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there.

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I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.

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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

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I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

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The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

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If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

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And last but not least:

I don't exercise because it makes the ice jump right out of my glass.

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You could run this over to your friends but why not just e-mail it to them!

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