I wrote a story "Pride Goeth"

Was just looking for some feedback on what people thought. Anything in detail would be cool.

Thanks

justoneguy -- since I was going to reply to the post anyway I took the liberty of cleaning up the accidental reply you had here. Hope that's ok.

Now, the story (Pride Goeth (http://www.eunuch.org/Alpha/P/ea_165616pride_go.htm) ) was really fantastic. You developed Robert's sense of superiority very well, then in the twist ... ahh well let's just say it was great.

The only thing, from my perspective as a reader here, and as the Archivist, is that it didn't really have a castration. We don't let too many of those slip by.

Robert can still cum and enjoys all the benefits of complete manhood.

Maybe a sequel where he, disgusted with his new penis, opts to have it removed rather than have it like it is?

thanks for you feedback bboy.

sorry about the lack of actual castration. I really didn't think about that fact while I was writing it. To me, the obvious thing was to have Robert castrated by the woman (the regular tied and cut sack). And I thought it would be interesting to injure his manhood in a different way.

what I was really going for was his lose of masculinity. I'm not sure that this really came through in the story, but the end was surposed to be more like "I am still male, with all my male parts, but they are now rendered silly and tiny." So, since he can no longer be the stallion that can satisfy any woman better than his friends, he has lost the better part of his manhood. It felt tragic to me while I wrote it. But maybe the impact of the idea was not as powerful as I thought.

justoneguy

No, no ... I think the impact WAS powerful ... I fully understood where you were going with the story.

Bboy wrote: Sat Jan 04, 2003 5:27 pm The only thing, from my perspective as a reader here, and as the Archivist, is that it didn't really have a castration. We don't let too many of those slip by.

Hey, a story with 50% reduction in length and similar in girth, and you're quibbling about whether it belongs in the Archive??!

Of course there are all sorts of unanswered questions, like

Would a 'return match' work in reverse, or would it cause more shrinkage?

What would the curse do if Susan met up with someone who actually wanted to be smaller? Would things go the other way?

Have any of her 'victims' ever sought her out for another go?

interesting ideas kb57z.

I would be interested in your ideas on the subject. what id Robert tried to have sex again to get big again. perhaps describing how sex for him and her is different from the first time, when he was hung. Or perhaps one of robert's smaller friends has sex with her too. What would happen to him?

I would love to read any sequel you want to write on the subject. Please do so.

justoneguy

justone guy ...

It would certainly be helpful if you registered for the boards here. While it's true you need an email address to register, there are plenty of services like hotmail, iwon, and yahoo where you can get an email address just to use for Archive activities.