Guitar Jokes
Posted: Wed Dec 25, 2002 8:14 pm
Guitar Jokes
What does it mean when a guitar player is drooling out both sides of his mouth?
The stage is level.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?
Twelve. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it better.
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How do you get a guitar player to play softer?
Give him some sheet music.
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What do a vacuum cleaner and an electric guitar have in common.
Both suck when you plug them in.
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How do you make a bass player turn down the volume?
Put a chart in front of him.
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How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
None--they just steal somebody else's light.
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What do you call two guitarists playing in unison?
Counterpoint.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?
He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it.
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What's the best thing to play on a guitar?
Solitaire.
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How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They let the keyboard player do it with his left hand.
Don't bother. Just leave it out--no one will notice.
One, but the guitarist has to show him first.
Six: one to change it, and the other five to fight off the lead guitarists who are hogging the light.
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In the 22th century, how many guitar players will you need to replace a light source?
Five. One to actually do it, and four to reminisce about how much better the old tubes were.
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Did you hear about the electric bass player who was so bad that even the lead singer noticed?
What does it mean when a guitar player is drooling out both sides of his mouth?
The stage is level.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?
Twelve. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it better.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you get a guitar player to play softer?
Give him some sheet music.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What do a vacuum cleaner and an electric guitar have in common.
Both suck when you plug them in.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you make a bass player turn down the volume?
Put a chart in front of him.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
None--they just steal somebody else's light.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What do you call two guitarists playing in unison?
Counterpoint.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?
He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What's the best thing to play on a guitar?
Solitaire.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They let the keyboard player do it with his left hand.
Don't bother. Just leave it out--no one will notice.
One, but the guitarist has to show him first.
Six: one to change it, and the other five to fight off the lead guitarists who are hogging the light.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In the 22th century, how many guitar players will you need to replace a light source?
Five. One to actually do it, and four to reminisce about how much better the old tubes were.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Did you hear about the electric bass player who was so bad that even the lead singer noticed?