It is curious to find out that things that should frighten and scare us instead tends to excite and arouse us.

Gay or hetero, it makes no difference, the effect seems to be the same and common to all orientations, and both sexes from what I have gathered here and elsewhere. Some fanticize as cutters while others fanticize as victims "losing it all".

Others actually get castrated or penectomized and make their fantasy a reality.

I wonder if is displaced risk-taking behavior, adrenalin flow, helplessness, feelings of empathy for victims or perhaps some combinations of many things that makes it so interesting and arousing for many here.

Even those who are repulsed at first seem to get caught up in the general theme of this place. It think that our so-called "fight or flight" instinctual reactions or more specifically the emotional effect of an uncontrollable "flight" that stimulates people to come here.

Are we "hooked" on adrenalin and this is the place that produces the most for us?

...Or have we tapped into some primal fear that is addicting both mentally and physically?

...Or maybe do some of us just have axes to grind :shot191:

...Or maybe just knives to sharpen.

...Or, perhaps we are just a bunch of perverts escaping reality in the most socially acceptable method possible.



Your thoughts?

A-1

A-1,

I would answer this question as niether. This would be an acceptable alternative if SRS were not possible for me. Sure, the thought of any surgery is a bit scary, but I am willing to get it done. My reasons for surgery is different than a gay or hetero male wanting to stay a male. Just thought I'd give you another POV.

Hugs

A-1 (imported) wrote: Mon Dec 23, 2002 7:32 am It is curious to find out that things that should frighten and scare us instead tends to excite and arouse us.

Gay or hetero, it makes no difference, the effect seems to be the same and common to all orientations, and both sexes from what I have gathered here and elsewhere. Some fanticize as cutters while others fanticize as victims "losing it all".

Others actually get castrated or penectomized and make their fantasy a reality.

I wonder if is displaced risk-taking behavior, adrenalin flow, helplessness, feelings of empathy for victims or perhaps some combinations of many things that makes it so interesting and arousing for many here.

Even those who are repulsed at first seem to get caught up in the general theme of this place. It think that our so-called "fight or flight" instinctual reactions or more specifically the emotional effect of an uncontrollable "flight" that stimulates people to come here.

Are we "hooked" on adrenalin and this is the place that produces the most for us?

...Or have we tapped into some primal fear that is addicting both mentally and physically?

...Or maybe do some of us just have axes to grind :shot191:

...Or maybe just knives to sharpen.

...Or, perhaps we are just a bunch of perverts escaping reality in the most socially acceptable method possible.



Your thoughts?

A-1

I did not fantasize myself as "a victim losing it all". Fantasy had nothing to do with it. Neither did I regard it as "risk-taking behavior" or anything else you proposed.

I simply wanted to let go of my libido and live a calmer life. I doubt if this decision had anything to do with axes to grind, escaping reality, tapping into primal fears, or even an adrenalin rush.

Just my usual humble opinion, of course.

...and Merry Christmas...

Keep your thoughts and/or feelings on this matter coming, please, everyone.

Isn't this GREAT!

A-1

"Castration and penectomy. It is frightening, stimulating or both?

A-1 (imported) wrote: Mon Dec 23, 2002 7:32 am It is curious to find out that things that should frighten and scare us instead tends to excite and arouse us.

"

I would say both these things play a part, and for some that may be the only motivating factors, but it is much more than that for many of us. First of all, I want to stress that I am not speaking for those who were castrated for medical reasons or through accident or violence. They never desired castration, it just happened to them. Also, I cannot speak for those who strictly want castration as part of a transition from male to female. But for those of us who only desire to become eunuchs or some form of sexually modified male, there can be many different motivators. I have looked and tried to identify some primary motivation that might be a unifying thread in this group, but so far it has eluded me. Apart from my own experience I can of course only speculate.

For voluntary eunuchs and eunuch wannabes I do believe I see at least one commonality between straight and gay individuals. (Please correct me if I am off track here.) It seems to me that the eunuch wannabe desires to sexually subordinate himself to a significant other(s). In my case this would be a woman, but I don’t think sexual preference is really a factor here. Eliminating, or greatly reducing, one’s own maleness to enhance a special relationship between the eunuch and his significant other seems to play a great part.

One question one must ask is whether this is something that he would really go through with or shall it remain just a fantasy. (I know many here are already living the lifestyle.) For myself, I must honestly say that there are certain conditions that would have to be met before I would voluntarily become a eunuch, but these conditions are certainly not fantastic or impossible to achieve. For most individuals who have a castration fantasy (fetish or fixation) I believe that if real-world conditions were to approximate their fantasy closely enough, they would likely submit to their compulsion.

For me, I would have to have the financial means to live above the competitive dog-eat-dog macho world. I would have to live in a more idyllic cultured world, perhaps working in the arts. Once this condition was met I would need only to find the woman who would want a eunuch as their significant other. She would have to have a bawdy, mischievously fun-loving personality, and be perhaps a bit playfully sadistic. She would be (or become) infatuated with the idea of turning a man into a sexually harmless human pet for a household companion and partner. I could flesh out this concept into many erotic scenarios - the stuff of stories on this board - but that’s the basics. It’s sufficient. When I can meet those two conditions my balls are gone!

I know that doesn’t answer why. But perhaps that is best left for another post.

Farrell

I supose it's a kind of redirection of powers and the stimulation is added to the fear, on top of it, so to say.

It's a rather common effect in the nature of instincts and drives that you have some general drive on the bottom and some special ones to break through it if it's needed.

Like fear of big animals and the desire to have a big roast-beef for your new-year-celebration.

But that is to generally speaking to answer your question, I suppose.

How does it come?

What exquisite reward does nature promise to overcome the basic castration fear by making the thought so stimulating to some of us?

And how comes that, although there are more of those around as one would expect, in fact they seem to be a minority here?

They are those who contribute to and enjoy the story section I would suppose and make a lot of "hits" on this pages but here on the message board I see quite too little of them.

I wonder where they are because I love the mixture of charcters on this board and I think it's due to the topic that it brings poeple in contact who else would be far apart by character, namely those who reason about theire sexual identity, those who may be clear about it but first of all want to take matters in theire own hand and then those who are forced into the dilemma of beeing sexually aroused by something that would end sexual arousal altogather. Penctomy is the word, for example.

Whatever is stimulating in that thought, I beleive the constant dilemma is stimulation intelletually!

You get a sense for dilemmas, so to say.

A-1, I never asked you. It`s not so clear as you might expect.

You ARE sexually aroused by castration fantasies, are you?

Got2 is and that's why he's here, and Antonia is, Oh my God!, but that's another story again*g, and Bboy and, well yes, who else?

Bboy, what is so stimulating at the thought of having you penis lying in a little jar, someone my keep on his bedside table?

I don't really know, but I may have some suggestions...

Is it a fact that some poeple just don't understand that fascination...

I wish you all a VERY happy new year, my friends!

gus

by walking right into it. When I was a little boy, I couldn't stop playing my "tee tee." So I just did and waited for the consequences. In reality, I love the raging lust I feel and my inability to get off. It may be psychological, but I think that not getting full erections and not enjoying an orgasm result for medication. However, my penis is back to its "usual" size. It's no longer a little weenie.

I don't know if I could go through with a penectomy, but I might just get carried away and submit if the circumstances were right. We live only once [as far as I know]. :tongueout

A urologist could MAYBE always find some life threatening problem that needs immediate correction.

The ideas expressed here are part of the fantasy.

For some, the fantasy is a reality that has to be dealt with. The sense of loss for the folk who have became eunuchs because of circumstances over which they have had no control may be overwhelming at times but as they say, life goes on.

They may come here for support. After they are here they slowly are introduced to the idea that their condition is fantasized by some, even desired by some. That must be a great boost to their self-esteem. It certainly would help them minimize their loss.

So, it is good that some have the fantasy and/or desire because they can be helpful to those who are dealing with a loss.

Those who have made the transition, crossed the line as it were and adjusted are the support system that such folks need to continue.

But the fantasy goes on. What is the nature of the fantasy? From the hit rates on the story board the fantasy must be much more common, much more universal than humanity would expect or imagine. That is because it is repressed.

It is the fantasy that no man talks about. The fear that many never want to realize. It is the ultimate liberation of a woman from the overwhelming male sex drive. It is the ultimate sumission of a man to a woman...or another man for that matter. It is the rejection of sex and things sexual.

I am not saying that female do not have a sex drive. I am saying that theirs is on the average much less than that of a male. In a Patriarchial society that subjugates women it is the ultimate realease from bondage.

So what is the fascination? How can it get both sexes off in such a HUGE way?

Gus asks...

haltlos (imported) wrote: Wed Jan 01, 2003 11:04 am A-1, I never asked you. It`s not so clear as you might expect.

You ARE sexually aroused by castration fantasies, are you?

Got2 is and that's why he's here, and Antonia is, Oh my God!, but that's another story again*g, and Bboy and, well yes, who else?

Gus...sure. To some extent most everybody is. At least everybody here or who accesses the story board is. It is possible to check by IP address who is accessing the board and how frequently. Individual identification is certainly not possible but the identification of the computer is.

Gus, your avatar is frightening. Too bad that it is not Xena wielding the sword in her sexy barbarian outfit. That would take the fear out of the Avatar though, wouldn't it?

The fear would then be replaced by lust. It is replaced by primal desire. The dichotomy of animal desire and fear and loss.

How is it that Gay men look at this?...please somebody...fill me in. Do you feel the same arousal submitting yourself to a woman as you would feel submitting to a man for this...Penectomy, castration or both?

It is a paradox that a defense mechanism could work by replacing fear of loss of sexuality with sexual desire itself.

Farrell,

Could we call your fantasy "The Utopian Eunuch"?

How can we rationalize the knowledge that a woman would still have basic female drives but "The Utopian Eunuch" would have none?

How would such a mate having a "one night stand" once or twice every couple of months or even weeks be rationalized?

Could it be a role reversal? Do you desire to use "sex" to get a woman but not to keep her? Maybe, maybe not.

Well, all this is fascinating.

My feelings in the fantasy are confusing. I desire...yet I resent the control that the desire has had in my life. I want to have control but I do not want to lose the sexuality.

Hormonal manipulation is not precise enough.

Like Old Softee I like to look at the sweet young things, I desire them, but I know how that can cause disruption and problems.

In addition, I feel that I have had my "go around" as it were when I was younger.

So here I am. The fantasy is not going to go away, but I will control it and use it for my own purposes.

So, I am in "Limbo" in many ways but that is where I desire to stay. I would say that most of the frequent visitors to the story board are in this catagory. Sort of "caught" in an addicting erotic fantasy.

That is my take on this subject.

Does anyone else care to offer some more input?

BTW, Old Softee...

One fellow called "Limpone" who used to post here regularly experienced the same problems that you describe. He used a simple rubber band at the base of the penis to maintain an erection, but one must be careful not to get it too tight or not to leave it on for too long.

I do not know what constituted "too long" though.

A-1

Hi, I'm Todd and I'm new here. in reading the responses to the question of fear or arrousal I think there is another possibility that you may have overlooked. I am a gay man who has gotten into so much trouble because of my sexuality both legally and psychologically that I want to be a eunich to obliterate the feelings I have against myself and my sexuality. I really wish that somehow puberty had lpassed me by and that I never awakened sexually. If my genitalia were removed then perhaps I could find some peace of mind and/or a quieter life, go back to feeling like a good person without all the bizaare thoughts and fantasies which have fueled my lifestyle of always searching for one more guy....It's great to know there are others out there who for their own reasons have similar ideas about body modification. Thanks for being here.

todd