I would like to offer a sincere apology for all of you having had to go through the posts of the last couple days on another message board here at the archive.

I am truly sorry.

When I get scratched I bleed. When I fail to meet the expectations of those around me I feel failure. When I fail to meet my own expectations I feel let down. When I have someone in my life to love I feel wonderful. When I am cornered I feel like lashing out. When I see others in pain I feel compassion. When I make someone smile I feel happy. When I have wronged somebody I feel remorse. When I eat chocolate I feel pleasure. When someone passes away I feel sad. When members of my own family ostracize me for being who I am I feel pain.

Yes, I am truly sorry. I am sorry that the way I live and the person I love is disgusting to other people.

And do you know what I am most sorry about? Being Human. For THAT I am truly sorry.

Thanks for listening... I'm going to go cry now...

Yes, I'm not afraid to say it. After posting my previous message at the start of the thread, I did go to bed and cry for about an hour. I feel much better today for having done so.

I have been dealing with a close family member being tremendously upset about my being gay. It has been VERY stressful, but I think things are improving. I'm starting to realize that this person will never accept who I am and how I live. I'm o.k. with that. I only have to see him maybe once or twice a year. Still, it hurts... a lot.

So when I came across that post I just lost it. But now that I've been able to vent, you'll be seeing the happy Losethem return. :p

Thanks a million everyone. Happy holidays!

--LT

Losethem,

I understand because my older brother was gay, he is gone now and I miss him every day. It never mattered to me that he was gay, he was my brother. My mother and father never really excepted that fact, they just wanted to ignore it and maybe it will go away. We all know that is not how it works. I look at this group and see my friends, true friends, I love you all and it matters not what your sexual orientation is. Some day maybe the rest of the world will come to find out what we already know.

Hang in there my friend and remember the loss is not yours but the relative that has rejected you. You are OK Losethem you always were.

River

Thanks for the kind words everyone. I found out yesterday that he has pretty much ticked off the whole family now. So I guess it is his turn to feel alone and isolated for a while. I figure if that doesn't change him, nothing will.

But for a person to change, they have to want it. And I do not see that with the guy. Oh well, I am feeling much better these days. Got a hug and handshake from the Ambassador today. So things are looking up.

--LT