I have to bow to you, Allen. Of course Bboy will be the final judge, but in my humble opinion I think you have captured in one chapter what I failed to do in... how many chapters was it?

GREAT STORY!!!!

Thanks for starting the thread Charlie ... I still have to get back to Allen privately but this is a great chance to say here that I really enjoyed the story a lot.

However ... Don't sell Tim short either. I don't think you failed at any aspect of that story.

Bboy

Thanks for the positive comments!! Some stories are easy to write - they just flow out of the pen and seem to work. Others are an ordeal of labor and hair pulling. This one was one of the latter for me. Nothing to do with the subject or restrictions in the challenge -- just one of those pieces that you feel insecure of the results. After many drafts, I put the project asside for a few days, hoping a fresh look would give clarity. No luck! It read as being pure drivel! So I cut, edited, deleted and nearly began again, only to decide that some of the earlier stuff was still beter. Finally, I knew I had lost all objective perspective on it. I left it once again, returned a few days later and tried to look at it as a reader instead of the author. It struck me as better than I had remembered and decided that I'd better not tamper with it any more. So, knowing that at least a couple of others have found pleasure in it is enough.

Thanks -- and to all you others out there, I'm ready to read your version. So rise to the challenge and submit those stories for Bboy!!!