Things About Texas

[Studlover (imported)]

(I am a native Texan. I can attest to these "truisms").

Subject: Things I Have Learned About Texas!

Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.

Roadrunners don't say "Beep Beep."

There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Texas.

There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Texas, plus a couple

no one's seen before.

Possums will eat anything. Armadillos love to dig holes under tomato

plants.

If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.

Nothing will kill a mesquite tree.

You cannot find a country road without a curve from corner to corner.

Texas has 5 seasons:

Spring, Feb 16 to April 15

Summer, April 16 to July 15 (temp 90 to 98 degrees)

Super Summer, July 16 to Sept 10 (temp 100 to 115 degrees)

Summer, Sept. 11 to Oct 1 (temp 90 to 98 degrees)

Fall, Oct 2 to Dec. 1

Winter Dec. 2 to Feb 15

"Onced" and "Twiced" are words.

Fireants consider your flesh as a picnic.

"Coldbeer" is one word.

People actually grow and eat okra.

When the world ends, only cockroaches and mesquite trees will survive.

When you live in the country, you don't have to buy a dog. People drop them

off at your gate in the middle of the night.

The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the first couple

of weeks.

When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's time to go to the

doctor.

"Fixinto" is one word, as is "goan" - go on, or "comon" - come on.

The word dinner is confusing. There's only lunch and then there's supper.

"Backards and forards" means I know everything about you.

"Jeet?" is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"

You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is.

You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.

You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

Stores don't have bags; they have sacks.

All the festivals across the state are named after fruit, vegetable, grain,

insect or animal.

You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both

unlocked.

You carry jumper cables in your car ... for your OWN car.

You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" is.

You know whether another Texan is from east, west, north, or south Texas as soon as they open their mouth.

There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 1000 or more.

Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past-time.

You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili weather.

A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop ... It's a Coke,

regardless of brand or flavor.

You understand these jokes and forward them to your friends from Texas.

Yep, I'm from Texas.

[Mac (imported)]

Looks like time changes everything. I can recall when becomming the second largest state (area wise) was a bitter thing for Texans. However, you never mentioned that or if Alaska was cut in half that Texas would then be the third largest state.

Sorry for that but I had to include it.

[A-1 (imported)]

Some people have no respect.

I found this written on the wall in a restroom stall at Wal Mart...

"Here I sit all bent and flexin'

I think that I just passed a Texan..."

Well, I just wrote this one back!

"I think I'd rather be a male Whore

Than to vote for a stupid ass like Gore!"

So, there!

:realpisse A-1 :realpisse