The following is a letter written by Tammie (Mrs. MarriedUnik). It was written in response to queries in a Yahoo Group EATWWLT about her view of being married to a eunuch. Per her request, I have not edited/changed it in any way. I honored her request, as it was written from her heart; and who am I to mess with that?

Please be considerate toward her, as you would have others be to you; she's a very private person, and she's a bit shy about posting to boards due to past instances of harassment/disrespect/castration requests/other persistent unreasonable requests. I know you'll understand; you're some of the friendliest people we've ever known.

Thanks,

James *MarriedUnik*

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From Tammie:

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Yes my husband is a eunuch. He has been for a little over a year now. I know there is a lot of women who wants to know " Does He Still Perform" The answer to that is Yes. And at times he stays harder longer than he did before he became a eunuch. From what he has told me he knew he had a problem at a early age.

When we first met we were friends for about 3 years, I was already in a relationship. And when that relationship faded, My Friend took me in and loved me, “Some how I knew we would be together one day.” And we fell in love. James is the type of man that would do anything for anyone till they did him wrong.

And still he would bend over backwards to help some one that needed help. He is kind and a very gentle person.

When he first brought up to me that he didn't want his balls any more and what he wanted to do I was freaked. I thought he was crazy. Who would want to do that on purpose! After being with him about six months I began to understand why.. He had problems that I couldn't help him with. The constant Horniness drove him bonkers and was causing us to have problems in our life together. We argued a lot about this. And when I seen what he was going threw I agreed. I love this man and if he wanted this then I was ok with it and stand by him. At the time he had his surgery I was with my mother she was passing away. And when I called his sell phone his brother answered, he told me James was just coming out of surgery. He handed the phone to James , when he told me I a weight just lifted off my shoulders. And I felt like I fell in love with him all over again WoW. Although we searched the net to find answers, Reading and going through it is two different things. We found out that he would go through mood swings and weight gain and hot flashes. Boy does he ever. He has hot flashes on a regular bases. And the weight gain well... Let me put it to you this way. Since his surgery he has gained about 40 pounds. He was gaining it right before my eyes.

His temperament has changed. Before he would throw one hell of a fit and throw stuff out of anger. His anger was never pointed or taken out on me for any reason. I don’t want anyone to get me wrong. And be angry seem like forever. But now not even a 1/4 as bad as before. That's nice. Our love still gets stronger every day. “ I hope those ladies who are wandering about what to expect.” I can try and tell you what know and try and help if I can. James has been a eunuch since 10/19/01.

Hope I have helped some, for those ladies who need some support.

Hope I Helped:

Tammie 11/14/02

Hello James and Tammie

To Tammie,

I would like to congratulate you on a fine letter. It is nice that we hear from another persons point of view about the effects of, and living with, castration. I know you must feel a very strong love for your husband to write a letter like this. From what you say it sounds like your marriage is much better now than before, and getting better. I hope the both of you will find a closeness like never before.

Castration can only be the decision of the one who is having it done. I can tell you from my own experience the rage and drive one feels can be overwhelming at times. To accept his decision(and it must be his decision) you are showing great love and courage. I applaud you for your willingness to accept his decision.

I am in the chat room a lot and I have chatted with James. I can tell you from chatting with him, he is kind and helpful. Your description fits him well. I think the two of you share something special, and not too many couples could say that!

I wish you a long and happy marriage together. You have yourself a wonderful man that loves you very much.

Best Wishes to you both,

Christina Marie

TAMMIE this is avery good letter for i know that my wife would have acted the same way you did if i told her i wanted to be castrated But i took depo provera insted and i did not tell her so when i becam this loving husband all of the sudden she was happy and surprised with me . I have since told her and for the first time in our thirty five year marrage we are finaly happy .Thanks for your post i hope it will help others who may need help may god bless you.

It’s been two years since the surgery, and I thought I’d post sort of an update to how things have been for us. I’ve not been active here on the Archive that much in quite a while; life’s been pretty busy, and frankly, I’ve been busy living it more than thinking about it.

The following is actually a letter written to someone who was inquiring about how things have worked out for us, and I thought it would make a good update for our past post to the Archive board.

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It has been quite a while since we wrote that intro, but the bottom line is that we're still very pleased with the results of it all. I would definitely do it again, as it has changed not only my life, but has drastically improved our marriage as well. This may not be the case for everyone, but it has helped us tremendously.

We spend a lot more quality time together, enjoying each other; I'm not as distracted as I used to be. There is still sex in our marriage; just not every night like it used to be. This is good, since it doesn't get "boring". There are times when we're 'in the mood' and there are times we just relax and cuddle together. Lots of cuddling. Mentally, it's made a total turnaround for me. I'm more confident than I was before; because I'm not worried about 'impressing' all those little young things I see running around..... I just laugh and instead of spending my day trying to get a glimpse of a cute little girl, I spend my day doing the things I want to do. That really does free up a lot of your day.

We went through a few months of severe strain on our marriage; trying to adjust to my new feelings; that was difficult, and since Tammie was recovering from the loss of her mother at the time, it was as though she was withdrawing from the world at the same time I needed her attention the most. Thankfully, we have worked through that, and since then, she's been the most devoted and attentive wife any man could ask for. She tells me I have since become a very devoted and attentive husband. Works for me.

We spend our days relaxing watching TV with her sister, or on the internet; our computers are side by side; and her sister pulls up a chair behind/between us; props her feet up on my chair's armrest, and we look at everything from ebay to comedy on the internet. It's very relaxed and enjoyable. I do work full time at an electronics retailer; drive 30 miles to get there each day; could do without that; but you gotta earn a living, eh? In the past, I was too horny to spend too much time near her sister without it starting to work at me.... now I don't worry about it in the least; the only time I get "worked up" is when Tammie's wanting some attention, and we get intimate. Without the surgery, there is no way that this arrangement would work. Without the constant horniness getting in the way, we relax, laugh, joke; just generally have a blast. Her sister's husband passed away recently, so we moved in with her; my wife's health no longer allows her to work full time as an auditor for the cable tv companies like we used to; so she's applying for disability and spends her days entertaining herself with family and TV and internet. She's worked hard all her life (even in sawmills) and has earned the break. I think this is as close to the ideal life for us as we can get right now.

Physically, yes, I have drastically changed. I used to be far too thin. I was almost 6' and 149 pounds. Since the surgery, I gained 49 pounds. I've managed to lose 14 of that; and now I'm fairly close to my ideal weight. I could stand to lose another 5 or more pounds, but not much more. My face; arms and body has filled out so I don't look like a skeleton anymore. Tammie loves this.

Energy; yes; definitely I experienced a drop in energy levels. I'm not a total couch potato, but definitely I can't do what I used to 2 years ago. Muscle tone has dropped, and I would have to do a lot of excercising to get that back. My job requires me to be on my feet all day; but no real hard heavy labor.

I experimented with androgel to get some energy back, and perhaps help drop a couple pounds; but after one week on a very low dose; I tested at "low normal" on testosterone; and was having hot flashes; so I dropped the androgel back to only using one packet every week or so....instead of taking it every day....just whenever I happen to think about it..... sometimes I'll go a couple weeks forgetting to take it. I'm not sure that this level is even doing anything really; just more to give me a bit of a boost every now and then, and let my body remember what a little hormone can do. Too much hormone and I got mean and snappy; being irritable is not fun for me; neither was being constantly horny; so I dropped off on taking it so much. I like the calming effect of not having it; and so does everyone around me. My co-workers don't know the real reason why; but they do know I'm more calm and easygoing and happier than the rest of the guys at work. The girls have learned that I'm not trying to get in their pants like the rest of the guys there; so they're not as cautious around me and can relax and enjoy talking to me like a person. I guess they just believe I'm happily married, and not worried about getting anyone else into bed. Well, they are right; but they just don't know the real reason that I'm so happily faithful.

If you're seriously considering it for yourself...... we'd rather you have all the information you can and make a more informed choice about something like this...... either for or against. We won't sugar coat things; this new life took a lot of adjusting; I went through some pretty rough times emotionally for a few months; getting used to the 'new me'; and had some pretty rough mood swings during the adjustment period. Thankfully, she came out of her shell that she was withdrawing into; and I learned to not only accept; but enjoy the new changes. This is not the ideal answer for everyone; but for those who choose it; and learn to enjoy it; it can be a wonderful thing. It has changed our lives so much for the better that I sometimes look back and wonder if I really was the same person a few years ago. Tammie has noticed this too, and really likes the changes.

* * * * * * * * * *

I hope that this somehow helps someone….. and to all the friends I’ve made at the archive and elsewhere…… sorry I haven’t been keeping in touch as much as I should have… but thanks for being there for me!

James ……. AKA MarriedUnik

Hello James,

It's great to see you back again. Thank you for sharing you experiences with us. I know many will appreciate not only the effects of castration, but how one deals with it in every day situations. I, for one, am very glad to hear life is going well for you. I do hope things will continue getting better in the years to come.

I am a relatively new member and really enjoyed the wonderful success story posted by Mrs. MarriedUnik: Tammie's story. It is very educational. Thanks

MarriedUnik (imported) wrote: Sat Nov 16, 2002 2:55 am ****************

From Tammie:

****************

Yes my husband is a eunuch. He has been for a little over a year now. I know there is a lot of women who wants to know " Does He Still Perform" The answer to that is Yes. And at times he stays harder longer than he did before he became a eunuch. From what he has told me he knew he had a problem at a early age.

When we first met we were friends for about 3 years, I was already in a relationship. And when that relationship faded, My Friend took me in and loved me, “Some how I knew we would be together one day.” And we fell in love. James is the type of man that would do anything for anyone till they did him wrong.

And still he would bend over backwards to help some one that needed help. He is kind and a very gentle person.

When he first brought up to me that he didn't want his balls any more and what he wanted to do I was freaked. I thought he was crazy. Who would want to do that on purpose! After being with him about six months I began to understand why.. He had problems that I couldn't help him with. The constant Horniness drove him bonkers and was causing us to have problems in our life together. We argued a lot about this. And when I seen what he was going threw I agreed. I love this man and if he wanted this then I was ok with it and stand by him. At the time he had his surgery I was with my mother she was passing away. And when I called his sell phone his brother answered, he told me James was just coming out of surgery. He handed the phone to James , when he told me I a weight just lifted off my shoulders. And I felt like I fell in love with him all over again WoW. Although we searched the net to find answers, Reading and going through it is two different things. We found out that he would go through mood swings and weight gain and hot flashes. Boy does he ever. He has hot flashes on a regular bases. And the weight gain well... Let me put it to you this way. Since his surgery he has gained about 40 pounds. He was gaining it right before my eyes.

His temperament has changed. Before he would throw one hell of a fit and throw stuff out of anger. His anger was never pointed or taken out on me for any reason. I don’t want anyone to get me wrong. And be angry seem like forever. But now not even a 1/4 as bad as before. That's nice. Our love still gets stronger every day. “ I hope those ladies who are wandering about what to expect.” I can try and tell you what know and try and help if I can. James has been a eunuch since 10/19/01.

Hope I have helped some, for those ladies who need some support.

Hope I Helped:

Tammie 11/14/02

Helo James and Tammie i just love your storey for i can relate to so much of what you have written here.My wife and i have been married now for thirty eight years and most of them have not been that plesent for my anger and anxiety led me to a sexual addiction that was as harmful to me as it was for my wife.

Than i found the Eunuch Archive and after listening to Riverwind and Andrew and others i decided to try chemical castration and went on pepo provera and since that day my marrage and my life has changed for the better .I have been on this medication now for the past sixteen monthes and it has changed my life more than i can express.I think the thing that i love so much is i dont have to be that person that i never wanted to be in the first place for i am now free to be the person i always wanted to be.I have always felt a love for people but was never able to express it but now for the first time since i was a small boy i feel that love for others again and can express that love and feeling for them.

I am very gratful for people like you and others that take the time to shair with others your stories for it is you that can help people like myself .And i do love the people here more than thay will ever know your friend sag111.