I understand how one's sexual desire and even fantasy might overtake one's life. Reduction of testosterone, other hormones, or neurotransmitters might well make a great difference.

Certainly, for anyone who is doing this not for some sort of sexual fantasy reason but for behavioral reasons, the chemical path to being a eunuch makes sense.

I confess that during the about eight years or so, when I had no particular libido, I enjoyed the immense sense of freedom that I felt. What I have missed is the intimacy that is at the core of relationships.

Over the past few days, I got off my medicaiton just long enough to enjoy a nice, pleasant, organsm. I had almost forgotten the warmth and simple pleasure of even masturbation.

I may have to make a decision soon about taking the risk of impotence for prostate problems. I'm weighing this now.

At any rate, I can, in part because of his fine site and these boards, see and feel different responses to experience.

When I first visited here, I thought this was a strange place. Oddly, it has been less and less strange and more and moer ot the point. I wish I had known you folks some year ago.

OLD SOFTEE if i were you i probley would be thinking the same as you . It is one thing to take medication to lower hormones and quite another when you have to for medical reasones. I can only sympathise with you it is not easy to loose somthing that is so enjoyable . I will keep you in my prayers and may god bless you.

comments and prayers. It is odd to me how reality mirrors fantasy--old, old, primal ones from my childhood and youth.

Thank you again. Either way things go, I find all this fascinating.

Blaise (imported) wrote: Tue Nov 12, 2002 3:20 pm Over the past few days, I got off my medicaiton just long enough to enjoy a nice, pleasant, organsm. I had almost forgotten the warmth and simple pleasure of even masturbation.

I may have to make a decision soon about taking the risk of impotence for prostate problems. I'm weighing this now.

Old Softee,

It is most difficult to decide what to do with one's body, especially at the turning point, or apex, of infertility and permanent impotence. I also have had great joy at masturbating but it also became an annoyance. On the other hand, this A.M. when I woke up I was quite pleased to note that I had no urge to stimulate myself and was entirely satisfied with that feeling. Personally, I am very happy about *not* getting a solid erection but I wonder if there is a Woman out there who would not share that view? Someone in my future? Or someone who won't be in my future if all I have is a limp, child-like, mini-dick?

Right now I am very busy at work and have long hours. I could medicate myself and become sterile and never notice it because I don't have time to dwell on it. Or, I could decrease and eliminate my medication and "be a man" again by January. What's the right thing to do?

I don't know.

- Jim

P.S. - Good luck on your journey as well.

interesting. Gifts come in many forms.

I too have gone the chemical route, also for medical reasons and after a year decided to make it permanent. It was nice to come down over time and now I really don’t miss it at all, I also don’t miss the pain I had in my nuts. Which ever way you take you will always get support in this place, either in the message board or chat room.

There is nothing more enjoyable than waking up and feeling the new mini-package that I have now. I liked tight balls before, but now everything has shrunk down to a pleasing size... will they get smaller? Time will tell. I am also deliberating like Old Softee about whether to make this permanent or not. Lately I have been extremely busy at work, worn out, not having days off, etc., so I could watch months go by and become sterile...

A tiny penis is cool! This is personal satisfaction, of course. An opposite view would be to wake up (or live) with a raging erection and sex drive, and command and use other people. Not sure that I like that style.

Is there any 'measure' possible of a person's self-interest with himself (herself), e.g., someone who is proud of a long, huge active penis vs. someone who is delighted with small testicles and a child-like cock?

- Jim