Long time lurker, first time poster here. As the title suggests, I have really been struggling with my sex drive. Starting at 22-23, I starting having longer and longer periods, during which sex never occupied my mind. After said periods however, my appetite for sex picked up again, to normal levels. This started with monthly intervals (i.e. one month horny, one to two months without horniness) but lately it has gotten really extreme (last time I wanted sex was for a couple of weeks in January/February and at the time of writing it is the end of July).

I am an absolute and dedicated bottom, and usually I try to kickstart my horniness by locking up. The effect this has, is usually sending my libido to unprecedented highs, something I enjoy, since I have to play with my ass daily to keep me sane. Well, the thing is, the last few times this has had absolutely no effect.

My mental health is getting really affected, since I have been suffering from sexual F.O.M.O. where I feel like my best years are wasting by, while I am just sitting here jerking off and not wanting to have anyone near me. And this is a great segue, since I am also chronically addicted to masturbation. I masturbate around 4-5 times a day, never because I need to, just to pass the time. I even had my doctor check my hormone levels, which he said "were within normal levels", but never really gave me anumber for my levels.

I know many people here want the serenity that a lack of libido brings, but I cannot live like this. Any suggestions are welcome.

Welcome, I hope we can help you find the sort of solution you are looking for...

The first question that occurs to me is how do you feel about life in general during your 'not-horny' periods? Do you feel better or worse than you do during the horny periods? Do you miss not being horny?

You mentioned enjoying the periods of high libido, and not wanting to live without it - would you mind not ever having them again?

Are you wanting to not be masturbating as much or not at all? (Have you tried other ways of 'passing time' like reading a good book, or other activities?)

While the exact effects vary unpredictably, MOST of the folks here that have done either surgical or chemical castration report lower libido and / or interest / desire in having sexual activity, masturbating, etc. and this seems to conflict with some of the things you say in your post....

Your doctor should be able to give you more exact numbers for your hormone levels, not just "in the normal range" (which is quite wide, and the optimal level seems to vary somewhat between individuals)

I don't know how accessible such services are where you live, but if possible it might be worth reaching out to your local transgender center and see if they can give you advice, possibly starting with counseling and / or meds not related to castration....

If you do feel that the effects of castration might be an improvement, it would seem to me, based on your post, that it would be best for you to try a chemical castration "test drive" to see if it works for you.

Good luck in your search,

WheelyCurious

I feel much better about myself when I am in a sexually active period. I mentioned in my first post, that not having a sex drive stresses me out, and I would really hate having to go through life without one. I know that castration is a solution for many problems here, but it is not mine.

Stress overall probably has something to do with it, but at least at the tome of writing do not feel actively stressed 24/7.

As wheely said some part of your comments could seams contradictory as in that last one "

Orfpposts (imported) wrote: Sat Jul 29, 2023 10:50 pm really hate having to go through life without one

" (talking about the sex drive). Better think more than twice before going on the castration journey.

For most men I think, sex drive is somehow contradictory and it is not a simple matter to learn to live with it and to cope with the up and down that comes with it. The management also change through life course while aging or being in or out of a relationshig which could be with or witout sex. From this evolution there is no simple answer to what do I want from life? what do I feel? Where I want to be in five years form now? The common sense proposition of a chemical castration as a "test drive" to cope with a complex sex drive is always the primary reccommendation from the experienced ones here in the EA. I would also recommend to consult a sex therapist which could be very helpfull in putting some order and cleanup in the various emotions that we live with that life of sex drive that we love and hate at the same time.

Orfpposts (imported) wrote: Sat Jul 29, 2023 10:50 pm I feel much better about myself when I am in a sexually active period. I mentioned in my first post, that not having a sex drive stresses me out, and I would really hate having to go through life without one. I know that castration is a solution for many problems here, but it is not mine.

Stress overall probably has something to do with it, but at least at the tome of writing do not feel actively stressed 24/7.

Masturbation or sex is a good way to relieve stress. And you are not alone in feeling stressed when you do not have a good sexual outlet. I went through a period like yours in my early twenties, masturbating just for masturbating, and just could not get enough of it, but not sure how to find or develop sexual relationships with others. But referring to your first post, sometimes you would also go through long periods where you do not need any sex. There really is no "normal levels" of sex drive. And people's sex drive go through ups and downs.

I am not sure Eunuch Archives is the best place for you, as castration or penectomy (as mentioned in your profile) do not seem to be really what you are looking for or need at this stage. May I suggest trying sex therapist, relationship therapist, or simply gay community support groups to help you develop social confidence so that you can join the gay community establish sexual partner(s), in whichever way makes you happy and less stressed out. You will find out that you are not alone.

All the best to you.