How did you adapt to becoming a eunuch?

[photoglenn (imported)]

Before being castrated, my balls were small, hard, and numb, but they were there in my scrotum.

The urologist did an ultrasound and found there was no blood flow, so he recommended removing them and I accepted his recommendation.

What I did not know or expect at the time was that once the healing was done and I was now a eunuch.

Previously I was just an intact gay man

.

I had and have still great difficulty in accepting my identity as a gay eunuch, as I just want to be a "normal" gay man, not a gay eunuch as far as my personal self identity goes.

Only one close friend knows of my emotional disconnect with reality, not even my husband, although my husband does know of course about the surgery. I keep my personal emotions to myself and do not share with anyone else, except this very close personal friend, especially anything to do about being castrated.

I have discovered that when I stopped using Androgel for a few months, I had no thoughts about sex, had no libido, and did not care that I was a eunuch, and lived in more comfort in my mental and emotional state.

So, I wonder if anyone has had a difficult time after being castrated with their personal identity, especially if this was not something that you sought or desired.

[magusuk89 (imported)]

A lot of detesticulated men historically became so non-consensually. The Byzantine general Narses conquered Italy. Peter Abelard located his masculinity in his intellectual pursuits and continued his famous theological career. Historic examples of masculine men who didn't let castration stand in the way of their identity work can be helpful. It is true that representation in the public eye is not everything it could be these days... but there is always room for trailblazers.

For my own part, growing up with testicular problems (since c.1998) that have only progressively worsened since 2019 hasn't always been easy. But having a diverse community around me connected through a shared family of experiences has been very helpful in feeling liberated from any stereotypes. Things are what I make of them. Cultural legibility is an issue, but then again, what does the majority know of minority identities anyway?

[NaturalEunuch (imported)]

Haven't been a eunuch that long but my advice is simply you just keep on keepin' on. Live your life. No one will even know unless you tell them.

[Missouri_Steer (imported)]

Losing my nuts was a life long dream. when it happened the only two things that changed wa chasing my Tests the fact that i could no longer sire kids. and that I was no longer chasing my Testosterone fed dick around. There was no adapting to being castrated. The night I was castrated was the most exciting thing that I had done for myself. I got up the next morning and found the cutter had left my nuts for me to deal with, and I picked them up from where they lay and took them to the kitchen sliced them in half and fed them to the 4 barn cats waiting to be fed at my door to the deck. I had had them longer than i ever wanted them and never wanted to see them again. no one knows that I've been cut except a few very close friends.

[Tante Wippen (imported)]

Genuine authentic home grown food!

[Consort (imported)]

Thank you for sharing photoglenn. This is what concerns me most when I am castrated. Not the physical trauma, not the loss of drive...but the self identity dilemma. Of course a few people would know, but a secret is hard on the bearer.

[Valery_V (imported)]

There is no particular problem, since the self identity is in your head .

[Missouri_Steer (imported)]

Hi, I commented before, but in reading thru your statements again, I noticed that you quit your HRT and lost Libido. What kind of HRT were you using. If you are at ease with your eunuch state you can stay on the lower dosage, or no dosage and up the dosge if you feel like having relations with your partner. Or, you can stay at a low Testosterone where you are comfortable with you status. I've found that if a take a little blue or yellow pill, I get hard and can function. The rest of the time I'm as limp as an overcooked noodle.

Remember, the only thing that changed, is there is only a dick between your legs. That doesn't make you less of a man, and to tell the truth, guys would be lined up to get castrated if they new how much better life is than chasing ones testosterone fed dick.

[photoglenn (imported)]

In response to tohappensoon, With or without Testosterone Gel, I am unable to get an erection, even though with Testosterone Gel, I have a desire to have a libido, but it just will not come forth.

The main difference is that with Testosterone Gel, I have desires that can not be realized.

Without Testosterone Gel, I don't give a damn.

Still the negative side effects of not using the Testosterone Gel, make me continue to use it.

When gay I had to remain in closet due to employment and only came out once I retired.

Now I am back in a new though smaller closet, not wanting to let anyone know that I have been castrated due to the many questions that this might bring forth, and how others might perceive me.

As far as having sex, hell, I can't even have sex with myself anymore.

I remember how nice it was to have sex alone or with someone, so this is a bit of a downer.

[WheelyCurious]

In response to tohappensoon, With or without Testosterone Gel, I am unable to get an erection, even though with Testosterone Gel, I have a desire to have a libido, but it just will not come forth.

The main difference is that with Testosterone Gel, I have desires that can not be realized.

Without Testosterone Gel, I don't give a damn.

Still the negative side effects of not using the Testosterone Gel, make me continue to use it.

When gay I had to remain in closet due to employment and only came out once I retired.

Now I am back in a new though smaller closet, not wanting to let anyone know that I have been castrated due to the many questions that this might bring forth, and how others might perceive me.

As far as having sex, hell, I can't even have sex with myself anymore.

I remember how nice it was to have sex alone or with someone, so this is a bit of a downer.

FWIW, and feel free to ignore it, the inability to perform was one of the reasons I started on this journey - If I couldn't satisfy the desire, it seemed better to be without it. Because of my injury and the risks that go with it already, going hormone free is even less advisable for me than it is for most. But it didn't make sense to me if I wanted to get rid of Testosterone driven urges to replace the natural T factories with a can of T gel...

So I ended up using Estradiol patches, and while (unlike some other members) I'm not happy about the bigger boobs I've gotten as a result, they are tolerable, and otherwise I'm happy with the results of being on it...

I'm also not wanting to come out of the 'eunuch closet' because of the questions and perceptions you mention, with the addition of not wanting to get put in the 'gay camp' - not because of any objections to it, but simply because I'm not...

I don't feel that my decision to go with estrogen for hormone replacement is going to out me from the eunuch closet...

WheelyCurious