I encountered this one in a story in the archive by Paolo. It seemed to good to leave in that relatively obscure place w/o sharing.... I've gotten great laughs from everyone I've told it to...

A young lad was caught by the priest "amusing himself" in the back of the church. Among the general chewing out, the priest told him to "Save it for Marriage"!

A few years went by, and the lad grew up, found the girl of his dreams and went back to the same church to get married...

Seeing the same priest, the man asked if the priest remembered him, and had to remind him about the previous encounter... He then asked, "I've saved six and a half liters - what do I do with it?"

WheelyCurious

An oldie but a goodie - and one that I don't remember!

Then there's also the one about the chili, which I have come to close to imitating!

https://eunuchworld.co/s15967 "“The Male Sexual Machine”, Chapter 10, by Kenneth Purvis, MD"

The header said it was an OCR scan, so you might not have written it, just posted it in stories instead of in the non-fiction articles area....

WheelyCurious

I still don't remember it, but thanks for the reminder!

It's already December.

Before you have time to look back, the winter holidays will come, and you should prepare for them in advance.

I love Christmas stories...

Here's how one of my favorites starts:

"Don't say you weren't warned! If the idea of Santa visiting naughty little boys doesn't appeal to you, and the idea of said boys being punished by Santa for being naughty all year is NOT appealing to you, then DO NOT read this story!

Twas the night before Christmas,

when all through the house,

not a creature was stirring,

… except for little Billy,

who was upstairs in bed jacking off!

...

The sleigh crossed over the frozen and snow covered St. Croix river, and began to drop down below the clouds in preparation for a landing. The red glow from the lead reindeer’s nose lit up the frosty clouds, and a Boeing 767 just coming out of the airport banked sharply to the left.

“Damn! That was a close one!” the jolly old elf with the reigns in hand swore. “What the hell are they doing flying around on Christmas Eve anyway? No one in his right mind takes off on a night like tonight!”

One of the reindeer near the back glanced over his shoulder and snorted.

“Oh shut up, Blitzen,” the driver snapped, “You work one night a year. Get over it.”

Blitzen ignored him.

... ... ... "

* * *

2001-12-11

by: Paolo

Do Not Open Until Christmas [A]

https://eunuchworld.co/s2761

This is really one from the Way-Back EA days!

I composed this one live at Talula's kitchen table back in 2001, with several of the local members at the then-Mother-Ship. We were celebrating Talula's furnace repair, and there were about ten of us there, I think. Ideas were being thrown around, and the story was done in about 2-3 hours.