I have seen this touched on by some in other threads, but wanted to ask directly this question: Has anyone else had stronger dysphoria regarding their genitals after having had a bilateral orchiectomy? I ask because that is what has seemed to have happened to me.

When I started this journey, I NEVER even thought I would consider going full nullo. My damaged testicles were finally removed in spring 2021, and I decided to have the empty scrotum removed back in spring of this year. I thought that I would be done. But I had also started making modifications to my penis back in 2019, and now have a subincision, fully split glans, and shaft that is bisected about half the length. I have done enough damage with the mods and banding that I do not get fully erect now. Orgasms are almost impossible to attain now, and when they do, the feeling is more "eh". So now when I am looking down at my damaged pretty-much non-functional penis, I have a increasingly strong feeling that it doesn't belong there anymore. Not sure where this dysphoria has come from, especially now that I am in my mid-60's, but here we are, and I have reached out my medical group's gender health patient councilor to see what the next step is.

Absolutely not an expert, but from the timeline in your message, it sounds like you started doing stuff to your penis well before your castration (not sure about how / when you got "damaged testicles")

That would give me the impression that you had dysphoria about all your genitals to start with, and have just been whittling away at them a bit a time... So less a case of the dysphoria getting stronger as just progressing in stages from one bit to the next.

I could easily be mistaken, so take that first impression for what it's worth...

WheelyCurious

I agree the dysphoria has been there for some time, however not as strong. I used to have dream in my teen years about my genitals being detached. But I spent most of my adult life living an uncomfortable existence with the sexual desires of a man. I started damaging my testicles back in 2012 to reduce those desire, which did work for a while. I did even not go to see urologist about it until 2017. Even then, I did not push to have the testicles removed until 2020, and only then because they had started causing random pain due to what was probably adhesions. After the orchiectomy in spring 2021. the revulsion over what remained grew stronger. The remaining sack was especially uncomfortable when riding my bike, so I had that removed this past May. The penis mods have been more recent (starting with some banding in 2019), but I have now reached the point where my dick doesn't get hard anymore past where the shaft is split, and have recently done a decent job of numbing the portion past the split as well, which I am really enjoying But I am also just really tired of it being there, and of the constant temptation to further damage it just because it feels like it doesn't belong there anymore. So now I am have referrals for consultations about finishing the nullification, which is something I NEVER even thought about when I first started this journey.

My situation is exactly the same. I only realized the dysphoria a few weeks ago, I have considered myself hairless since the hairs started to grow and I have imagined

how would it feel if there was nothing between the legs. I started penis mods in 2006 when I was over 50 years old. Now penis split to halfway, Castration 5 years ago.

I am ready to change the process to get a feminine body.

I couldn't even imagine something like this a couple of years ago, on the other hand, I didn't know it was even possible.

The symptom of Dysphoria varies from person to person.

I think when there are many steps in the process of "modification", the more profound experiences.

For me it all happened relatively early and almost at the same time.

I did not experience any special internal psychological stress.

In general, there are no unpleasant and negative memories in my head.

Now I feel like I was born that way...

I'm happy with the end result.

And I'm just happy to communicate with mentally similar people to me.

Almost forgot to add something important:

I learned a lot on the EA forums and began to understand myself much better.

I really enjoy reading adventure fiction in the archive's most unique library!

Reading and communication with like-minded people for me is the key to good health and mood.

TooMuchT (imported) wrote: Wed Nov 30, 2022 2:09 pm Has anyone else had stronger dysphoria regarding their genitals after having had a bilateral orchiectomy? I ask because that is what has seemed to have happened to me.

Yes, not at first, but after a couple of years I was and still have such thoughts and feelings.

Being categorized as a EUNUCH was, is not the category I want to self identify with, and certainly not by anyone else.

And being a male by birth, and gay since puberty, after my double orchiechtomy I felt like some of the gay parts were missing .

The closest I came for awhile was identifying as GAY M to E, but even that was not satisfactory.

There are so many gender identities today that never existed before that finding one that I felt comfortable with has been a challenge.

AT the moment, and this will probably change in time, the best I can come up to self identify is AGENDERISM but of course that is not a check box on any web site or paper form, and virtually no one would have a clue what it meant, but at least for now I can avoid the term EUNUCH, which of course is the technical medical description.

So in the end I guess each of us must do the personal exploration and searching for what works for us even if it does not conform to what others are familiar with, or accept.

RE: TooMuchT: during puberty I was. in a constant state of sexual overload, jerking off multiple times a day, realized I was gay and hated it all. So I wished I had not been born and wished my balls were gone after I discovered that it was the testosterone production that was causing my issues.

Fast forward, somewhat like yourself after multiple bacterial infections, my balls shrank, got hard, shrank, and became numb.

Dr. prescribed testosterone gel and that went on for a few years.

After awhile I developed a strong ache that felt like it was. coming from my balls, even though when I squeezed them I could feel nothing.

Told my doctor, he referred me to a urologist who did an ultrasound and discovered my balls had died from lack of blood flow and that they needed to be removed.

Kind of a scary time as I had a bad result from a previous surgery that caused a stroke during which I went into a coma and spent many years in rehabilitation.

Anyway after the incision in my scrotum healed it was very odd to have an empty scrotum and not. feel any balls at all.

I have never had any desire to have the scrotum or penis removed.

I took testosterone gel at first, and at the time could still achieve an erection.

In the past year, however, I have been unable to get an erection and am completely impotent .

So in the end I got what I had wished for, no balls.

But it has come with "strings attached" in that I can no longer get an erection, which is now causing me great frustration.

But as they say, you can't have it all.....

I find that I don't like the word "eunuch", it has negative historical and literary connotations. I have heard the words "gelding" and "steer" used quite a few times, and they have something of a glamour to them - a gelding is a young male horse that has had its testicles removed, but still has some spirit; a steer is a male ox again with testicles removed that nevertheless invokes ideas of strength. Both terms, when used of humans, suggest a form of masculinity.

Just thoughts - I hope they don't upset anyone.

I don't worry a lot about labels, and I don't think many here will... I am OK w/ Eunuch and generally would use it just because it means not having to explain what some other term means... It is worth noting that there are a lot of historical records of 'strong' eunuchs - Generals and other high ranking official types - see some of the articles posted by Jesus and others in the non-fiction area... I'd be OK w/ gelding as it doesn't have a lot of negative connotations - lots of good guys rode them... OTOH, I'm not at all fond of steer as to me it sounds more like what is going to end up in the grocery store meat display...

But to each his own...

WheelyFixed