So, I won't go into full drawn out detail, but in my Mother's wisdom, she used me (as of today, a 41-year-old man) as a dependent (without my permission or authorization) on her and my father's federal government insurance and their taxes. This has derailed my moving to Charlottesville and my surgery.

I have to pay back my tax refund ($1,504), which I was using on apartment application fees, and without an apartment I am forced to decline the position at UVA (as of Monday, 4/25). That means my surgery has been cancelled (as of Friday, 4/22).

This is clearly not how I wanted this to go, but I have to fix a mess I didn't make. I figured I owed you all an explanation.

grapesoda19 (imported) wrote: Mon Apr 25, 2022 2:01 am So, I won't go into full drawn out detail, but in my Mother's wisdom, she used me (as of today, a 41-year-old man) as a dependent (without my permission or authorization) on her and my father's federal government insurance and their taxes. This has derailed my moving to Charlottesville and my surgery.

I have to pay back my tax refund ($1,504), which I was using on apartment application fees, and without an apartment I am forced to decline the position at UVA (as of Monday, 4/25). That means my surgery has been cancelled (as of Friday, 4/22).

This is clearly not how I wanted this to go, but I have to fix a mess I didn't make. I figured I owed you all an explanation.

Do not worry, you have not lost the most important parts! They remained with you and you, for sure, if you wish, will be able to dispose of their fate in the near future!

grapesoda19 (imported) wrote: Mon Apr 25, 2022 2:01 am So, I won't go into full drawn out detail, but in my Mother's wisdom, she used me (as of today, a 41-year-old man) as a dependent (without my permission or authorization) on her and my father's federal government insurance and their taxes. This has derailed my moving to Charlottesville and my surgery.

I have to pay back my tax refund ($1,504), which I was using on apartment application fees, and without an apartment I am forced to decline the position at UVA (as of Monday, 4/25). That means my surgery has been cancelled (as of Friday, 4/22).

This is clearly not how I wanted this to go, but I have to fix a mess I didn't make. I figured I owed you all an explanation.

Your mother said you're a dependent? Why is she allowed to claim you, a 41-year old man, as a dependent?

The only way she can do that is if you're a Qualifying Relative. So here are the specifics behind that (and I'm happy to be corrected if another is a tax specialist):

1. You're a US Citizen (YES)

2. You're not a qualifying Child (You're 41, so you're WELL past that)

3. You lived with her, in her home for the entire tax year (DID YOU?)

4. You had less than $4300 Gross Income for the year (DID YOU?)

5. Your mother provided half your support, or more, for the year. (DID SHE?)

As I'm reading it, if you made over $4300 in the past year, she broke the law (tax code) and wasn't allowed to claim you as a dependent. What you'd do next is your choice, but I'm guessing for the refund you stated, you made more than $4300 for the year in question. It would be bizarre to get that much back as a tax refund if you only made a maximum of $4300.

I'd obviously get the advice from an actual tax expert, but it appears she claimed you in error, unless the situation conforms to the above.

Losethem (imported) wrote: Mon Apr 25, 2022 8:42 am Your mother said you're a dependent? Why is she allowed to claim you, a 41-year old man, as a dependent?

1. You're a US Citizen

>Born 41 years and 2 days ago in the OLD (and haunted) Portsmouth Naval Hospital, Portsmouth, Virginia.

Losethem (imported) wrote: Mon Apr 25, 2022 8:42 am 2. You're not a qualifying Child (You're 41, so you're WELL past that)

>That is correct. Not according to my parents.

Losethem (imported) wrote: Mon Apr 25, 2022 8:42 am 3. You lived with her, in her home for the entire tax year (DID YOU?)

>*sighs* I have Aspergers, which is a form of Autism. One lovely part of my parents is they are verbally, emotionally, financially, psychologically, and narcissistically abusive (especially my Mother). I have very little room for escape. My part of Virginia does not have any funding for people with any disabilities to live on their own (ie: independent living). You have to wait on a waiver. If you aren't in the right zip code (and I am not and never will be), you are shoved to the bottom of the pile. If Richmond doesn't fund that waiver, that list never moves. If they do, they will take people in that zip code (in my case 5 miles away) over me and always over me, first before they will anyone else. At last check, I was approximately 500th-or-so in line. The lady said "unless you move to the <zip code for the city that's 5 miles away> you will likely never move up the list". What that waiver does is basically has the state pay my rent. Now, I really don't want to do that, but it's basically the only option people in my area have besides working. If you work, you immediately lose your SSI because you made too much. It's a lose-lose.

Losethem (imported) wrote: Mon Apr 25, 2022 8:42 am 4. You had less than $4300 Gross Income for the year (DID YOU?)

>Because of my Autism, I get SSI or Supplemental Security Income, which in 2021 was approximately $750, untaxable by the IRS, cause it comes from the Social Security Administration. I only made $118. in 2021 and they could, somehow, refile my 2019 taxes (and everyone's) because....tax law, COVID, I don't know? But my 2019s were refiled (so were Mom and Dad's) and that's how I got the $1,504. If it wasn't for the 2019s, I would have gotten $12. :

Losethem (imported) wrote: Mon Apr 25, 2022 8:42 am )

5. Your mother provided half your support, or more, for the year. (DID SHE?)

>Sorta, maybe, kinda? From my SSI, I pay $500 of the rent (which totals $700, which is STUPID cheap, but that's cause we've been here 25 years and they like us, plus we don't cause shit and we ask for nothing). I also pay for the internet and the dryer we collectively use (which was supposed to be paid back to me, but never has been, she has refused to), was bought by me. The seal for the dryer door, also bought by me (she paid me back for that). Now if you ask her, cause she cooks (cause I can't to save my life (outside of TV dinners and Chef Boyardee), that's her "support" making me "dependent" on her. Yeah, OK. I am dependent on her cooking...and damn good cooking it is. She also claims since my Dad pays for the lights and water (etc.) that's dependency too. OK, I see that point. Even when I worked, it was the same way, I paid rent, internet, my bills (phone, VPN cause I torrent my TV/streaming shows/movies, credit card), and a monthly hair cut (cause I like to look good) and Dad paid for the rest (he puts in fire sprinklers and makes good money).

An added point to this: According to the Commonwealth of Virginia (since I get Medicaid, insurance, cause of my Autism) and the Federal Government (since I get SSI), I am my own "entity" (their word, not mine) and I am my own "household" even though we live under the same roof and have the same address. Technically, I am the "head" of my own "household", I just choose to disregard that fact because I don't want to deal with that drama. So, legally, there is an added reason she can't claim me. I'm my own "entity" (sounds like I'm an LLC or something).

She could correct this, but there is no upside for her, she would lose the "child tax credit" and yes, she claimed me as a "dependent" on her

grapesoda19 (imported) wrote: Mon Apr 25, 2022 2:01 am federal government insurance and

claimed me as "disabled" which marked me as a "disabled child" even at the age of 40 (when she filed, I wasn't quite 41).

So, now you know the highly embarrassing truth. I'm going to find a rock to crawl under.

I am sorry to read about your situation. I don't know just what to suggest, as it sounds to me like while there might be grounds to argue about the parent's being able to claim you as a dependent, there is also the question of what happens to your family relationships if you do make a fuss about it. I won't suggest what to do as I'm neither a tax expert or a family counselor

What I think might be a good idea if you haven't already done so is to reach out to your local "Center for Independent Living" or CIL... By US federal law, every state is supposed to have them, and I found a list at https://vacil.org/cils-in-virginia/ I don't know which one is right for where you live.

In theory they have the mission of helping persons w/ disabilities gain independence, so seems like the kind of help you may be looking for. They also will usually have folks that are experts on questions relating to taxes so they can at least advise you about what the proper answer is about this question.... It may also be worth noting that if there is an issue about way you were claimed as a dependent, the IRS might make life difficult for both you and your parents, so it seems like a good idea to find out and be able to take corrective actions first...

Whatever happens, I hope you are able to get things straightened out so that you can get back on track towards achieving your goals.

WheelyCurious