hi Everyone !!!

it's been four weeks since I was castrated. so I thought I'd post about my feelings.

first and maybe most important is the recurring day dream I have, as if said to the surgeon who did the orchi, "you really did it?!?!? I was only kidding!!!" but I'm only playing a game with myself. I'm so in love with being without testicles.

it was such a journey getting to this point and I just can't express enough, the joy, the delight, the feeling of freedom and peace. the wonderful silence between my legs and in my brain. the noise was tormenting me all my life and forced me into places I never wanted to go.

There are guidelines for those who want to transition but they were built around male to female and female to male and I felt like I was being pressured to transition into a woman quite a bit before I could properly express that that was not what I wanted (immediately). yeah, now I think being a woman might be delightful too, but my eunuch status is so delightful right now the way I am.

there was a psychiatrist I encountered who I felt was kind of a "guard" who determined that I did not meet the requirements for someone wanting to transition - he was someone in place to make sure the individual is a safe candidate.

I have not been on any hormones (before or since). and before the orchi, I had no intention to at all. to me this would have been taking me in a direction that would be totally wrong for me. as a result, this psychiatrist would not approve me. he said I was high risk and likely to have surgery regret. at that point it seemed as if nearly everyone was against me becoming a eunuch.

I was very clear that I had no intention to be on female hormones for a year before I could conceivably qualify. but this psychiatrist also felt that even if I did comply I still would not qualify for other reasons - like not meeting DSM and WPATH7 requirements. maybe I was just seeing the wrong people for this.

fortunately I did find the right way. I found a doctor, a urologist working in the healthcare system who showed how it could be done appropriately and medically safe and approved. and approved by my insurance too.

I signed a document showing I understood all the aspects of having an orchi, and fulfilled the requirement of getting letters from mental / healthcare professionals that I was competent to make the decision.

maybe it was all the hoops to jump through, passing all the roadblocks, and finding a doctor who really cares about people in my situation. he and his nurses and all involved were amazingly wonderful!!! maybe this is why I'm so happy now.

but still!!!! those things... those tormenting glands... they're gone forever!!! my life's dream that I thought for so long was never a possibility - except for all those times when I did crazy dangerous things to myself to try to facilitate their removal.

I'm just so happy now and full of appreciation for those who helped me.

as a eunuch... maybe eventually as a woman... being without testicles is truly the best thing to happen to me in my life.

hi Everyone !!!…

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dee2essohkay (imported) wrote: Tue Apr 05, 2022 1:18 pm and all involved were amazingly wonderful!!! I'm just so happy now and full of appreciation for those who helped me.

i just want to add (since i don’t see an edit option for the above) that there is someone else i encountered who did provide some very important help who was not a part of the surgical team nor at the place where I met the above mentioned psychiatrist. i communicated with this person via email when I - feeling quite exasperated - wrote an email to express my exasperation. Thanks much to him as well - much appreciated…

hey hannesohne,

its funny, we do have some similarities, but i have combination feelings - almost is if i wish i could be two people at once because i love the eunuch state but also love the idea of becoming more feminine. it is not only for the purpose of being a woman but to be as far from being male as possible. maybe this is because of trauma in my childhood. or maybe its genetic. i think i might have chosen being a woman when i was young if i understood that i could have done it - but i never was aware that it was an option. now being a woman does not seem so important. but like i said, there is so much right going on now in my body and mind that makes me feel so happy and that i’ve finally done the right thing. just feeling so much peace as a eunuch.

yeah, so exactly the feeling, the amazement that i don’t have them any more. not just every day but every time i happen to see or think of the area. and i think that some day probably soon i will have occasion to inform certain people that i did get this done - because we had the conversation previously before the surgery and they expressed reservations - as if they thought getting it done was not a good idea. and i can’t help thinking that from other people’s points of view, that they think it is better that we suffer with the parts, than to disrupt their sensibilities. i can understand how people born without testicles (such as women) might have difficulty understanding, and as well, men who are fine with living with their own. I can see how they can view removal as an affront. but whose body and mind are we considering in this? i wish they were a little more understanding that these glands have caused me, you, the general eunuch community, a great deal of unsolvable lifelong distress. i never encountered anyone who was able to suggest a suitable alternate. peace is so nice.

dee2essohkay (imported) wrote: Tue Apr 05, 2022 1:18 pm it was such a journey getting to this point and I just can't express enough, the joy, the delight, the feeling of freedom and peace. the wonderful silence between my legs and in my brain. the noise was tormenting me all my life and forced me into places I never wanted to go.

as a eunuch... being without testicles is truly the best thing to happen to me in my life.

Similar feelings, similar condition...

Thank you for starting this thread. It's so affirming to see people with similar experiences. I got gelded back in June and when I look at that area, when I feel it, when I put on tight, tight shorts, I get filled with warm fuzzies. When I think "I am a Eunuch," it's just... right.

I understand. I was castrated on October 3. I have to say I absolutely love it. Like many others i wish I had done it years ago.

I became a eunuch in July 2020. It was such a relief to finally reach my physical transition goal after around 25 years of searching. Looking back, all I ever wanted was to get rid of my masculinity. My body and sense of self are now aligned.

I see my eunuch identity as a nonbinary transgender identity. I am Gen-X and in my youth had no concept of gender, dysphoria, or nonbinary identities. I never expected that I would be accepted, but after someone close to me came out as trans last year, I came out, early this year changed my name and pronouns, and now live openly as nonbinary (they/them). I am accepted as a member of my local LGBT community. I never thought any of this would be possible.

I am grateful to the members of this forum, and those who have sought to understand us, for everything you have done over the years.

The feeling is very fine. Before my castration, I had the feeling that I had no testicles for years. Now that they are no longer there, I constantly have the feeling that they are there... The physical and mental adaptation to the lack of T is difficult. The hazy, dull feeling, the lack of focus is interesting, but also disturbing. Soon I will receive a small supplement in body patches, it will improve, supposedly.

attistoC (imported) wrote: Thu Nov 24, 2022 9:44 pm The feeling is very fine. Before my castration, I had the feeling that I had no testicles for years. Now that they are no longer there, I constantly have the feeling that they are there... The physical and mental adaptation to the lack of T is difficult. The hazy, dull feeling, the lack of focus is interesting, but also disturbing. Soon I will receive a small supplement in body patches, it will improve, supposedly.

I have had 4 chemcastration periods. And surprisingly all of them have felt quite different. The first time I had problems with motivation to do my every day stuff. Dull feeling appeared after 2 months during my second trial, I think it was because of lowered dopamine levels. Emotional lows happened during the fourth. I think mostly because I had plenty of real life problems. Eunuch calm I experienced during first time. I experienced brainfog during third and fourth period. But after 2 months it faded away.

I don't know how to explain that. Also, over time negative effects were reduced. Some disappeared some remained. Problems with sleep existed all 4 times.

First things that returned with T were morning woods and good sleep.

Just my experience.