I was castrated by my own choice about 6 months ago. The proceedure was performed by a medical doctor. I admit I had some "help" in this area. I have a close relative who is an MD, and made some investigations for me. As a result, I had access to a service that others do not. I consider myself fortunate. I did not spend a fortune, I had very good personal care. One advantage I also had was a number of years of visits to a mental health professional, who endorsed my need to be castrated. As a result, nobody envolved felt this was a spur of the moment, self inflicted disfigurement of my body or ego.

I do have to admit that being castrated is what I wanted. But not everything I expected. Hot flashes, feeling of a "loss" and other problems have lessend my satisfaction with this change. Would I do it again--of course. But for those of you who may read this and are contemplating this change--be very sure it is what you want. I have accpeted the change and, in many ways am happier than I have ever been.

Why did I want to undergo this proceedure? Why, as gay man who loves the touch and feel of another man did I elect to make such a profound change in myself?

Those are complex questions. Basically, it has to do with eliminating a quite rage from my life. I found myself frustrated at many things in life. Yes, I have much to be thankful for, but I could never get past the frustration. That quite rage cost me in many ways. Peace with myself was one of the prices. Relationships, work opportunities and normal social interactions were other costs.

The eunuch calm that is often written about is real. I have achieved that. I remain as sexually active as I can. But that is now on a different level. It is not just the physical that I once craved. It now includes the emotional connection that eluded me for years.

Losing my balls has been painful...but I have gained so much.

Best of all, I made a difficult choice, and have gained a better life for it. As I mentioned earlier, this is probably not a choice many can make. Be wary, understand your needs and your motives. For some, it is the right choice.

NoBalz (imported) wrote: Wed Oct 30, 2002 8:05 pm Losing my balls has been painful...but I have gained so much.

Best of all, I made a difficult choice, and have gained a better life for it. As I mentioned earlier, this is probably not a choice many can make. Be wary, understand your needs and your motives. For some, it is the right choice.

You have written some very important words of advice for all readers of the Archive. Thank you.

Thanks, No Balz, for your story. I was voluntarily castrated by a cutter with lots o' skill almost 3 years ago. My motives were a combination of physiological and fantasy. I might not have actually pursued the fantasy to conclusion had I not had many probs w/ my orbs. I've always felt better sexually not to have them. I was on testosterone supplements while intact, and the main hormonal result of castration is that my doc no longer has to worry about the effect of ingesting testosterone on my natural production. I was ready for it, and adjustment was consequently easy.

I now find myself going through the difficult choice to proceed or not with someone else. I met a bf through one of the eunuch listserves. We click emotionally and physically as gay men. He has many of the same issues I had - physiological problems with one's balls perhaps giving rise to an obsession w/ being castrated. There is no question that a surgeon will remove one testicle in the near future. His other testicle has painful cists. He might be better off medically if both were removed in an upcoming surgical procedure, and a counsellor agrees that he'd be better off mentally as a castrate. We're working through it, and there's a good possibility we might end up a eunuch couple.

Regardless of the outcome, we're committed as a couple. He's intact and dependent on supplements, as I was before 3 years ago. If he still has 1 ball in a couple of months, so be it. If he's a eunuch or on hisway to becoming one, that's OK as well. It's easy for me. I made my decision and have had my balls harvested. It's harder for my partner. Regardless, we're both committed to testosterone supplementation on the understanding that medical problems may cause either or both of us to have to cease the treatments. I luv sex w/o balls.