Feedback requested as I'm "rebooting" a series.

[pinkpeopleeater (imported)]

Hello everybody,

I wrote and submitted two stories awhile back that I wrote in third person. The Prince and His Whipping Boys stories were intended to be the first chapters in a longer series, (loosely inspired by Nathans' Ayzintion series - and his other stories to a lesser extent). However, I wrote two different stories after that in first person and I found I much preferred that for a variety of reasons and therefore decided I'd rewrite the Prince and His Whipping Boys in first person.

Now I wouldn't normally ask, but the second entry The Prince and His Whipping Boys: The Chief of Police only got a one star rating from one person. Which means one person didn't like the story and either nobody else read it or everybody was indifferent to it. Which is fine! I'm not complaining or anything but since I was "rebooting" these stories by retelling them in first person, I thought I'd ask if anybody had any constructive criticism they might want to offer up on either story.

It's cool if The Chief of Police just wasn't to anybody's taste but I thought it couldn't hurt to ask in case there was something I could change/improve.

Thanks in advance!

-PinkPeopleEater