Hi all!

For me, it started in my teen years. Being raised catholic and having sexual urges that I needed to suppress. I had multiple sexual experiences with other boys in school. They ould come over to my house when my parents were not home and I would suck their cocks while they looked at Penthouse and Oui magazines that I bought, (and showed off in school). I even let one boy cum by rubbing his cock between my legs. He came, got up, dressed and left. That was when I realized my submissive nature. I begged him to come back the next day.

I had more one night stands, I never came out as gay, but I started going to an S&M club in NYC (The Vault). I never felt I deserved a penis or balls. I paid FemDom mistresses to whip me, I also allowed myself to be locked in the stocks at the Vault while people abused me. I begged for punches to my balls. I became somewhat obsessed with the submissive life. I would attach mini binder clips to my balls while at work and would go to the men’s room to jerk off. I have always desired nullification but could never admit to being that deviant.

I dated a few women in my 20’s, but the relationships never lasted because I could never reveal my true self. One girl surprised me on my birthday by stripping naked in my bathroom and then trying to give me a blow job. I couldn’t get hard. She cried, git dressed and left. I should have begged her to destroy my balls, but I didn’t.

I admire (and would kneel before) anyone who has had the courage to be castrated (or nullified). I wish I could take the next step, or that someone would force it upon me.

Thanks for reading my post.

NJ

I liked your article! At us much in common. I realize the obedient nature and so on. There are also differences. I am a gay, never paid girls for visits... Forgive, but it seemed to me that your profile there is some mistake...