my chemical castration as a non-binary AMAB

[newnuch2020 (imported)]

hi all, just wanted to talk about my own experience with chem castration as a non-binary AMAB person in case we have someone else here who can relate to this

i am in my early 30s, and since my late teens i have disliked SOME male secondary sexual characteristics in myself (baldness, hairy body, coarse skin, the butch aesthetic) while liking others (muscles, endurance, some aggression). i have no intentions of undergoing a full M2F transition, but it look me well over a decade to understand what i wanted was a M2E transition. it took another 5 years and emigration to a different country to make it possible.

i think what cliched it was a wonderful article on a NB AMAB person who was microdosing E and T-blockers. i wanted to be them.

after ~6 months on climara patches and finasteride, i am nearly there

small breasts? check.

heavier pear-shape with fat moving from abdomen to thighs, hips, and butt? check.

penis size was always very small, but morning wood and spontaneous erections have diminished a lot. not quite full-on impotence, but getting there.

softer skin? check.

alas, no effect on body hair or head hair as yet. le sigh.

so, yeah, this is where i am, and this is where i shall be for some time. long therm goal, of course, is orchi followed by scrotum removal but than may only happen after a lupron shot to test a low-T environment. also, once this damn pandemic is over, would like to do a bloodwork.

then we shall know where we are

fellow enbies, please say hi, and if you wanna share where you are in respect to your transition, feel free!

[LostTime (imported)]

Hi, thanks so much for posting! I'm also AMAB in my mid-20's and identify as non-binary, and I feel I have a lot of the same experiences as you. Starting at about 10 and continuing until now, I've always absolutely hated a lot of my male aspects (my penis, balls, body hair, voice) but I also didn't feel like a full M2F transition was right for me. There are some aspects I like, less body hair and a more feminine body shape, but I also don't really like the idea of having breasts nor having vaginal construction surgery. About two years ago, I went on about a 6-month trial of finasteride, androcur, and tamoxifen but had to stop for logistical reasons. While I was on it, I liked a lot of the changes I was seeing: a bit of fat-redistribution, slightly less body hair, and less arousal. Particularly, erections had always been a major source of distress for me, and I was very happy to see that I was getting a lot less spontaneous erections (though they still happened sometimes). It was very distressing for me to see that after stopping the medication, spontaneous erections and morning wood came back.

Now, I'm starting the same medication regimen of finasteride, androcur, and tamoxifen, with the eventual goals of having no erections, and if possible, reduction of my penis and testicles until they're barely there. I also want to have less body hair and a more feminine body shape, so it looks like we have a lot of the same goals The only thing that's holding me back a bit is that I do eventually want children and I'm afraid of become infertile. I've read that T-blockers alone generally won't cause permanent infertility and can be reversed if I'm off T-blockers for a while.

Anyways, I'm happy that there's someone like me on this site, and I wish you the best of luck with your transition! Maybe we can even keep each other updated on progress.

[Frida G Cavic (imported)]

your story reminds the mine since I started around your age playing with hormones, but unlike of your case Im a transgender woman, good Luck and best wishes

[newnuch2020 (imported)]

Hi, thanks so much for posting! I'm also AMAB in my mid-20's and identify as non-binary, and I feel I have a lot of the same experiences as you. Starting at about 10 and continuing until now, I've always absolutely hated a lot of my male aspects (my penis, balls, body hair, voice) but I also didn't feel like a full M2F transition was right for me. There are some aspects I like, less body hair and a more feminine body shape, but I also don't really like the idea of having breasts nor having vaginal construction surgery. About two years ago, I went on about a 6-month trial of finasteride, androcur, and tamoxifen but had to stop for logistical reasons. While I was on it, I liked a lot of the changes I was seeing: a bit of fat-redistribution, slightly less body hair, and less arousal. Particularly, erections had always been a major source of distress for me, and I was very happy to see that I was getting a lot less spontaneous erections (though they still happened sometimes). It was very distressing for me to see that after stopping the medication, spontaneous erections and morning wood came back.

Now, I'm starting the same medication regimen of finasteride, androcur, and tamoxifen, with the eventual goals of having no erections, and if possible, reduction of my penis and testicles until they're barely there. I also want to have less body hair and a more feminine body shape, so it looks like we have a lot of the same goals The only thing that's holding me back a bit is that I do eventually want children and I'm afraid of become infertile. I've read that T-blockers alone generally won't cause permanent infertility and can be reversed if I'm off T-blockers for a while.

Anyways, I'm happy that there's someone like me on this site, and I wish you the best of luck with your transition! Maybe we can even keep each other updated on progress.

Hi - hail fellow well met yeah, i loathe morning wood and erections too. so ungainly and ugly. now that i am fairly impotent tucking has become much easier. i purchased 6 gaffs in march from one of those TG-specific online storefronts, and they do the job decently. I mostly wear clothes from the female section - nothing too pink or sparkly or with rhinestones that say "i suck cock" (LOL) - but the cut and the fitting are definitely female, so tucking is a necessity. so far, the breasts have escaped comment (mostly) but i think next year i might have to start thinking of wearing sports bras in the summer.

i used to be fairly femme even before my chemical castration so i don't think at my workplace (a very woke one) anyone is going to give a damn even i i show up in full girlmode, but i think for now imma continue my eunuch/femmeboi presentation for a bit. i have to say, confusing people with a totally flat crotch can be interesting - again, i dress for myself, not to make an exhibition of my body parts, but i know for sure people have noticed (and probably discussed) how feminine i am beginning to look. eh. don't care. still gonna be in boymode LOL