A Letter to help the failing airline industry

Federal Aviation Agency

800 Independence Avenue S. W.

Washington DC 20591

Dear Sirs:

I have the solution for the prevention of hijackings, and at the same time

getting our airline industry back on its feet. Since men of the Muslim

religion are not allowed to look at naked women we should replace all our

female flight attendants with strippers. Muslims would be afraid to get

on the planes for fear of seeing a naked woman, and of course, every

businessman in this country would start flying again in hope of seeing a

naked woman. We would have no more hijackings, and the airline industry

would have record sales.

Now why didn't Bush think of this? Why do I still have to do everything

myself?

Sincerely,

Bill Clinton

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mother-in-law

A man went on vacation to the Middle East with most of his family

including his mother-in-law. During their vacation and while they were

visiting

Jerusalem, George's mother-in-law died. With the death certificate in

hand, George went to the American Consulate Office to make arrangements to

sent the body back to the States for proper burial

The Consul, after hearing of the death of the mother-in-law told George

that the sending of a body back to the States for burial is very, very

expensive. It could cost as much as $5,000. The Consul continues, in most

cases the person responsible for the remains normally decides to bury the

body here. This would only cost $150.

George thinks for some time and answers, "I don't care how much it will

cost to send the body back; that's what I want to do."

The Consul, after hearing this, says, "You must have loved your

mother-in-law very much considering the difference in price."

"No, it's not that," says George. "You see, I know of a case many years

ago of a person that was buried here in Jerusalem. On the third day He

arose from the dead!! I just can't take that chance."