Need some advice

[leonardcr (imported)]

I am a non-binary person. I was on androcur and Tamoxifen for just over a year. By the end of my trial I was loving it, but decided to stop to save money for an orchiectomy. I never actually managed to save enough. My wife asked me not to do another trial or get an orchiectomy until I had supported from a therapist. In December my wife announced that she wanted to stop having sex for at least a month (our relationship was having problems) . I still had some androcur left so i started taking them again without her knowledge or consent. Just one pill a day. It got me through the worst of it. On my birthday in late January it was like a light switch had been flipped with my wife. She came back to me. We were talking again and having sex nearly every day. So I stopped taking the pills. But they were always in the back of my mind. It's not that I don't like having sex with her but I don't need to be horny 24/7. On Sunday I decided to go ahead and start taking them again. Again without her knowledge or consent. Today when I woke up I realized that they were working. But that made me panic a little. Her birthday is on Saturday. We haven't had sex this week because we are both back to work full time and we are exhausted. Next week we were supposed to go to Disneyland, but obviously those plans fell through. I'm worried that my selfish actions are going to ruin her birthday. I'm farely certain that I can keep her satisfied with oral, but I'm still worried.

On a side note I orderd a new chastity belt that promises to allow me to tuck while being locked up. This I think is the Holy Grail for trans people who want to wear chastity while maintaining a flat front.

[erikboy (imported)]

So, what I think of it, is that not only your wife has needs. You have too. You don't have to be 24/7 horny just in case your wife might want sex. Also there are other possibilities to satisfy your wife, at least temporarily, if you have problems with erection. It is explainable.

[TopManFL (imported)]

Hey @leonardcr,

There is so much in your post that I most likely will not get to all of your points. Nonetheless, there is an overarching theme to your post and that is, your wife wants to have sex and you want to be able to make her happy. In many relationships sexual "happiness" goest like this, man gets an erection, he inserts his penis into his wife and he has an orgasm. Irrespective of whether she orgasms or not, the "act" is considered to have been a success.

In your case, I ask you those two questions. 1. Could you make your wife extremely happy without getting an erection? 2. If she wants to stop the androcur, would you be willing to do so?

Regarding making your wife happy without being able to get an erection I can think of multiple ways. To narrow it down, the mouth and a strapon come to mind.

Most women love getting head from their partner. The only problem is when oral sex stops before she reaches the "Big O". With enough concerted effort, an impotent man can learn to bring his wife to orgasm over and over. Even with no libido, the pleasure of giving your wife an orgasm can be its own reward.

Also, a strapon can do the job. If you don't want an erection, a strapon can be your best friend.

However, your wife might not be happy with anything short of the real deal. If she wants a real erect penis to have sex with, the two of you will need to discuss where it goes from there.

Good luck.

TMFL

[GordonGG (imported)]

TopManFL makes some very good points. To me when reading the OP's post I got the sense that this couple doesn't know what they want. Couples counseling?

Now bear with me. I'm not an expert by ANY stretch of the imagination. I'm expressing my opinion on the few facts that I can perceive from the OP. But I do believe that some aspects of their relationship need to be dealt with before anyone does anything in the way of permanent "fixes".

[cutnbulls2ox (imported)]

It sounds like both of you like the behavioral affects on you of lacking testosterone. When your T level gets high, the two of you have marriage problems. When your T is low, you are a harmonious couple. The only problem seems to be her desire for your erect penis and high sex drive during sex.

Erection drugs, a strap on penis, or similar dildo substitute penis stand ins might solve your problem ?

[JockItch (imported)]

I think erection drugs would be worth considering. Trimix injections will get you hard even with no testosterone.

[microeunuch (imported)]

I think erection drugs would be worth considering. Trimix injections will get you hard even with no testosterone.

Good suggestion! I was thinking viagra but i know that sucks.

[leonardcr (imported)]

Thank you all for your responses. You have given me alot to think about. My choices at this point are stop taking the androcur or just deal with it and hope that I can perform for her. Right now I'm leaning towards continuing to take the androcur. I will be looking into counseling when my insurance becomes available. We are interested in couples counseling along with individual counseling. She would obviously prefer me to wait until I have found a counselor to start with hormone therapy, but I have my doubts that they will support me in the way I would like. Non-binary transgender people are not taken very seriously right now unfortunately.

[microeunuch (imported)]

Thank you all for your responses. You have given me alot to think about. My choices at this point are stop taking the androcur or just deal with it and hope that I can perform for her. Right now I'm leaning towards continuing to take the androcur. I will be looking into counseling when my insurance becomes available. We are interested in couples counseling along with individual counseling. She would obviously prefer me to wait until I have found a counselor to start with hormone therapy, but I have my doubts that they will support me in the way I would like. Non-binary transgender people are not taken very seriously right now unfortunately.

Sending hugs, love, and positive vibes to you with this tough decision. While I cannot speak for everyone here, I'm glad you reached out. Just know you are loved here! ❤

[Birgit1977 (imported)]

If you life close to Metro Detroit, get your Orchi from Dr.Arnkoff and then get a customized hormone therapy from Dr. Powers.

My situation was almost identical with yours and I had my Orchi 3 years ago.

Our marriage and sex life has improved so much, we should have done it 10 years earlier when we were done with replicating.

I hope you find your way!