Hello,

I have a question to all the voluntary eunuchs here: Can you describe the process of reaching the decision and the moment when you finally made up your mind to go forward with your castration?

To explain why I'm asking: I'm a long time lurker, and have almost never really posted, but I have fantasized about being a eunuch since puberty. For me, it was never about the process of getting there, but I have always found the idea of being smooth beneath my penis something extremely attractive that I wanted for myself. To be more precise, this scenario would be a surgical castration, with HRT and ideally a scrotal removal.

So far I saw this purely as a fetish or a sexual fantasy that I did not seriously consider going through with. But a few months ago I had a bit of an epiphany, and I realized that since I already got a vasectomy and don't want kids, that I could actually go through with this. In a way, this was the first time when I actually gave myself permission to actually do it - if I really wanted to. In this moment I felt an immense sense of joy and relief at the prospect that now makes me if this more than just a fantasy. I'm now seriously weighing the pros and cons to reach an objective decision.

How did you decide and did you also experience such a moment of realization?

Hello,

SeekerOfThings (imported) wrote: Thu Mar 05, 2020 11:40 am I have a question to all the voluntary eunuchs here: Can you describe the process of reaching the decision and the moment when you finally made up your mind to go forward with your castration?

To explain why I'm asking: I'm a long time lurker, and have almost never really posted, but I have fantasized about being a eunuch since puberty. For me, it was never about the process of getting there, but I have always found the idea of being smooth beneath my penis something extremely attractive that I wanted for myself. To be more precise, this scenario would be a surgical castration, with HRT and ideally a scrotal removal.

So far I saw this purely as a fetish or a sexual fantasy that I did not seriously consider going through with. But a few months ago I had a bit of an epiphany, and I realized that since I already got a vasectomy and don't want kids, that I could actually go through with this. In a way, this was the first time when I actually gave myself permission to actually do it - if I really wanted to. In this moment I felt an immense sense of joy and relief at the prospect that now makes me if this more than just a fantasy. I'm now seriously weighing the pros and cons to reach an objective decision.

How did you decide and did you also experience such a moment of realization?

I was so sick and tired of the effects that testosterone was causing in my body and mind for decades that I finally decided that enough was enough. I found out about a castration surgeon named Dr. Murray Kimmel in Philadelphia on a eunuch's website late one night. The very next morning I called Dr. Kimmel's office and set up the appointment and got the ball rolling. Two weeks later I had the orchiectomy done in Philly. The only regret I have is that I didn't do it a lot sooner. Please keep in mind that this is the real deal not a fantasy. There is no going back on it. Think it over very thoroughly and go from there step by step. I hope I answered your question. If you have any more questions about the process by all means let me know ok?

I started with antiandrogens for some years before the orchiectomy. I think I had good reasons to get the testosterone out of my system and since the antiandrogens had side effects that were not alone caused by low testosterone it was a logical choice to get an orchiectomy. The penectomy later was a wish that formed parallel to that. I really disliked everything of my sexuality.

I too was very tired of what Testosterone was doing to me and my life. I was driven by sex, and did things to try to satisfy that hunger that were not good for me or my loved ones. I sought out chemical ways to become a eunuch before I had the actual surgery. The relief was wonderful, and I've not ever looked back. It is something I should have done 20 years earlier.

For most or perhaps just speaking for myself a decision such as this or most any other life altering surgery wasn't decided in a few days. So how one makes that decision varies a lot by each person. For a good number of folks the decision was either this sort of surgery or a death sentence as in Cancer running its course. And then there are the myriad number of MtF personalities who felt they were trying to correct a mistake of nature. For those folks it took many years of miserable and unhappy lives not to mention a lot of very expensive counseling and proving to themselves and the medical community that this was for them. For those folks it was but a beginning.

In my case this decision began forming in childhood. I did not want to be a female but also I had no desire of being a male. I was born with male organs which haunted me from earliest childhood through adulthood. No, I was not homosexual and considered myself be heterosexual if I had to be classified into some group. But the truth is during those years the concept of sex was just a body function to procreate the species. Although now I consider it to be an act of great pleasure. Sure, without the penis and testicles it appears that my own sexual pleasure are those of a homosexual. That is far from the truth. Although I still have a prostate I do not consider myself either male or female so having sex with either to my way of thinking is not a homosexual act. Many would disagree with me and that's fine as each has an equal right to their own view on the subject.

That decision to have the male sex organs removed was made from childhood to the teen years and took many years to come to fruition. My decision was simply to rid myself of all that society seemed to consider putting me into one group or another. I hated those things hanging between my legs and all they did to my body and life. Looking back I would only have liked to accomplish nullification much earlier. The point being, if you need to ask the question "How did you decide" you've already made your decision. (It is not for you). For those who have gone to this process there was no wondering of how to decide but only how to accomplish the constant desire.

Time, research and Introspection. Talking to a theapist, find one that writes letters, you can ask them. Tell them what you want... https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/ther ... ransgender

Google hrt resources for your state

Do a test drive with blockers, for 6 months to a year

Then you will know

After trying to grow boobs for 2 years with little success and suffering through the side effects of Testosterone suppressing drugs my wife told me to call Dr. Arnkoff and get it done as a Ester, Birthday and Christmas Present in April 2017.

Surgery was in May 2017 and I am super happy and I have C-cups and they are still growing.

I can remember as puberty started the very strong desire to have my testicles removed. It was a VERY intense feeling that often consumed my thoughts. I truly felt I was born wrong! I needed them to not be a part of my body. It was the BEST decision EVER to find a Dr. to perform my orchiectomy with scrotal removal in Dec. of 2005. I can remember EVERY moment of the operation and can still describe it in extreme detail. I was given a local anaesthetic and was awake for the entire procedure. I do still have a strong need to have more removed but have yet to realize that goal. I hope to very soon. Money is almost totally saved. I just need to find someone to help do the operation. I have also been on HRT since 2000 even though I still present as "male." I'd be more than happy to chat with you if you'd like.

My decision was made after twenty years of chronic testicular pain after a vasectomy. I was dealing with it when I got hit playing rough with my 15 year old grandson. The pain was so bad a week afterwards that I could barely walk.

I told my primary doctor who referred me to a urologist. I had already had every test under the sun plus an exploratory on each testicle on the epididymis with no relief. When I told the new urologist my story I told him that I was already sterile, and I am taking testosterone so my testicles no longer work so can we just cut them off and be done with them. He gave me a pain block in both spermatic cords for diagnostic purposes. When I returned for a follow up six weeks later, I told him that I had absolutely no pain for about four weeks but it was coming back now. He said that this proved that a surgical castration would work for me. He scheduled surgery for six weeks later. I had a bilateral orchiectomy as an outpatient surgery in a hospital so my insurance would pay for it. The surgeon gave me bilateral nerve blocks. The only pain I had was from the sutures. This was about thirty years ago. My doctor put me on low dose estrogen to help with the hot flashes and night sweats and to help protect my bones from decalcification.

A lot of interesting perspective so far. I don't think I can claim that my desire is as existential as is is for those that experiences gender dysphoria or those that suffered from chronic pain. I also can't really say that I want to get rid of testosterone or sexuality altogether. My impression was that there is a pretty broad gamut of motivations behind voluntary castration, so I'd be curious to hear other voices.

I think microeunuch's account resonates with me the most so far. So let me ask you: was there a specific moment that made you go ahead with it?