13) Don't think we're quaint or losers because most of us live in small

towns. We do this because we have enough sense to not live in crime

infested cesspools like Cleveland.

14) DON'T YOU DARE tell us how to cook barbecue. This will get your ass

shot (right after it is kicked). Criticize the barbecue and you may go

home in a pine box.

15) Remember, the only reason you are lucky enough to be here in the first

place is because we have not pulled the Border Patrol off the Rio Grande

and put them on the Red River (where they really belong).

16) Enjoy your visit.